135- Clear Skies Up Ahead

Today I struggled.  I struggled when my husband was in a bit of a funk.  He was down and not clear as to why.  His mood affected mine.  We later both came to the conclusion we were sad to be leaving each other.  As I hugged him good bye late this afternoon I cried.  I wasn't ready to leave, I wanted to still be there with him.  It was just a blah day.  Sabbath had been such a blessing, and such a rest, then today we were hit with leaving each other and the lists of things that need to be done.  All the things we are behind on etc. 

So while driving up here to Pisgah, my mind was thinking about the struggle.  All the escapes I use when I am moody and alone.  (A terrible combination for me)  I thought about the vices I use and how I desperately want to completely let go of them.  I'm sick and tired of not moving forward, of not facing the sadness and medicating with carbohydrates, or other escapes. 

As I was driving I was praying about it.   Praying, and begging God to help me have victory.  Help me find a better way.  I prayed, about wanting to use Him as my escape, use His word as my comfort.  Just then I came around a bend in the road and saw this.....

For me it was amazing! It had been such a dreary drive, socked in clouds of gray.  Everything was gray and then this!  (Yes I took a picture while driving. I had to.)  I am a very visual person and this said volumes to me.  Seeing the end  of the darkness and the blue skies ahead emphasized for me how God desperately wants His word, His love to be what brings that sunshine, and clear skies to our lives.  If I choose to use the vices that I am accustom to I will remain in the dark.  His way brings light. 

Then the next bend just a few minutes later and this was His gift to me...

Not just a clearing but the SON too!  I know this might seem cheesy to you.  Perhaps it is to you, but it isn't to me.  See, I know my Lord, created all of us with different ways of learning and he knows how to speak to each of us.  He knew in that moment my heart was not just asking for a better way to cope, I was questioning if what I prayed for was really worth pursuing. After all carbohydrates have worked quite well....OK not really, but in the moment it seems to work.  He knew that in this moment my heart was open to his voice and he knew this would help.

So I am tonight, spending time with God, reading His word, listening to His music, and drinking clear water.  I am going to pictures these clouds, this sky that spoke to me and remember that His was and is always the way that brings sunshine in the end!  His way doesn't send us into a darker place, but brings us into the light!

"This is the message we have heard from him and declare to you: God is light; in him there is no darkness at all."1 John 1:5


I know my way is easy, I know my way is comfortable, and my way is dark.  Tonight I KNOW His way brings light!

Ahhhh- Rest

This has been such a full day! Full of rest, full of time with my husband, time with God.  I was blessed watching Becca sing and speak up at God Encounters in Massachusetts. Blessed by Matthew Gamble's sermon, blessed by spending time with Chris.

By far the greatest blessing today was being reminded that our Savior has paid the price.  Our sin, our struggles don't define us. Having accepted His gift, and believing, I am His and that is a remarkable thing.  Being His gives me value, being redeemed means that my struggle with sin is not about fighting to be saved, but fighting to honor Him.  I want to honor Him with my life, I want to honor Him by living as a child of the King! 

Rest is such an important healing element of this process and today I not only had physical rest but spiritual, emotional rest, and I was reminded that real rest only comes because He paid the price!


I posted a song that speaks to my day.  Enjoy!

Be At Rest by Steve Green

Happy Sabbath

Carolyn sent me a link to this song yesterday.  I thought it went along very nicely with my post last night.  Enjoy and have a blessed Sabbath day!

Free by Dara Maclean

133- Healing.... a gift.

This weekend Chris and I have decided to take the Sabbath hours and spend them at home with each other and Christ.  This time of year our schedules become more and more hectic, we see less and less of each other, so this is time I am enjoying and looking forward to.

This evening I took out one of my favorite books, Ministry of Healing by Ellen White, and spend sometime reading.  It is a book she wrote from cover to cover (not a compilation), and it has been a real blessing to me.  Tonight, there were several things that were a blessing.

1.  "He took our infirmities, and bare our sicknesses," that He might minister to every need of humanity. Matthew 8:17...... He came to give them health and peace and perfection of character.

He came so that I don't have to snuggle up to and hold onto (C).  He came and not only wants to take it away but he also experienced it all, felt it all, and then paid for it all!

2. "When the sunlight of God's love illuminates the darkened chamber of the soul, restless weariness and dissatisfaction will cease, and satisfying joys will give vigor to the mind and health and energy to the body."

It is only experiencing God's love, saturating my soul with his love, that the (C) will really be gone! His love will heal, his love will bring joy!  His love!

3. "God does not bid us overcome in our own strength.  He asks us to come close to His side. Whatever difficulties we labor under, which weigh down soul and body, he waits to make us free."

He is going to be the one to set me free.  It will not be my work, my daily blog, or my good works or bad works, it will only be Him.  His strength, his gift that sets me free. 

4. "Nothing tends more to promote health of body and of soul than does a spirit of gratitude and praise.  It is a positive duty to resist melancholy, discontented thoughts and feelings-as much a duty as it is to pray."

Seriously?... It is as important to resist focusing on the doom and gloom as it is to pray!  I am more than ever committed to making sure I am filled with a spirit of gratitude and praise!  After all to have a spirit of gratitude and praise, is to have Christ in your heart.  If He is the source of all that is good, then it is He who is praised  It is He that fills our hearts when we praise. It is He who will set me free.

The thought has just occurred to me that just as Christ heals the physical, just as he can make the lame to walk, yet sometimes does not, He can heal me instantly or perhaps not at all.  He can set me free tonight, or I may struggle with pain until he comes.  My mental struggles are no different than physical struggles.  I will trust that he knows what is best. I remember my grandfather, when dying of cancer, praying, "Lord, whatever will bring the most glory to you... let that be.  If it is healing me, Lord heal me, if it is my death, let me die."  I will never forget that prayer.  Everyone else, conference presidents and pastors had been praying for him and anointing him with oil.  They prayed, as I have heard many times, "Not my will but thine".  What I heard different from my grandfather was this.  He was telling God that what he wanted, his greatest desire was not to be healed, but to glorify the Lord with his life.  Whatever would do that best was his desire.

I know there have been many times in my life, (even this past week) when I have wished I didn't have (C) in my life.  Yet tonight I am reminded that what I want more than anything is for this life, my life to be a life that demonstrates the mighty power of God, that brings glory to His name.  Not because of what I have done in my life, but because of what He has done. 

So tonight I am looking forward to time with God.  Time spent in prayer, outside observing him in the beauty he created!  Tonight I am praising Him for his many blessings, thanking Him for doing the work, feeling the pain, taking care of my (C) so that I can be free!  Tonight I am thankful for the Sabbath rest.  Thankful for not just the rest from work, but the rest for my soul.  The rest that is ours when we come to him! Tonight I am surrendering it all to Him with one request, "Lord take my life and let it be all for Thee."

Dancing Again

I have not made it to Ballet class for more than a month and considered not returning.  My schedule is so complicated, and it was just one more thing to have on the schedule. That is the simple answer.  That reason is valid but far from the only reason. Perhaps more impactful is the fact that going to class is very difficult for me.  It is not the physically tiring, but mentally it is exhausting.  I have such a hard time computing and keeping straight what she is asking of us.  The terms, I don't know, there is a lot of counting and numbers involved,  arms doing one thing legs another.  It works my brain harder than a day at the office, or anything else I have ever done.  I would rather study for a difficult exam than go to dance class.  I am sure it has something to do with what side of the brain you use or something, but it is crazy hard for me.  I am not good at doing something that is that hard.  I have been ready to quit, but today I went, paid, and was so thankful I did.

I need to keep going.  I need to get to the place where I feel like I am dancing.  I want to exercise the connections needed in my brain to maneuver this body across the floor.  I also love the stretching, the exercise, the attention to posture and grace.  I am far from graceful but hopefully it will come.  Today, I almost changed my mind several times, but I finally just got in the car and headed that direction.  I am so thankful I did.  If for no other reason than it is good for me to do what is difficult.

Tonight at one point I caught a glimpse of myself trying to leap across the dance floor.  It wasn't pretty! However, I didn't have the bad reaction I expected to have.  Instead of cringing at the awkward figure clomping across the dance floor, I was proud of myself for being there.  I was thankful that I was trying, instead of snuggling down in bed. In a way, I was seeing myself the way I hope others will see me.  The real me.  The moving forward, willing to work hard, and strong enough to do something I'm really bad at, me.  That lady, may not be graceful or beautiful while dancing, but her moxie is admirable and I like her!