Day 2

Wow what a day! So day two of living minus the crap found me at the Women of Faith conference. The speakers were inspiring, the music moving, and the time with a dear friend was remarkable. Several times today I found myself wanting to dance with the music, raise my hands, praise freely. But there are still to many insecurities that prohibit me from moving in private much less in public. I did however, move more than ever in my life. I forced myself to focus on praise and love for my savior, not what people were thinking of me. I mean seriously, if I am standing there in this huge auditorium, "praising God" but only thinking, "how dumb I must look!", or "what will people think", or "am I doing this right?", "am I on the beat?", how self focused is all that!!!! YUK!!! I am wanting, desiring, to praise him and filling my mind with the other thoughts is letting my mind be filled with Crap instead of praise! HOW Pathetic!!!!!! So today, when those thoughts entered mind, I would picture my Savior in front of me, and let the words of the music and his face be the only thing to occupy my mind. Praise is not self focused! It is Christ centric and my whole life I have been at best 1/2 and 1/2 focused.


Another thing happened today. I sat there being fed by the gifted speakers and was reminded of what I know I was called to do. Speak. Then while driving home I thought what is keeping me from marketing myself and letting the Lord lead. Many years ago I had no idea where to start, but today my computer is filled with the latest programs to design brochures, business cards, and I know where to get them printed. I also have titles of speeches etc. All I need is a new picture and a few hours. For some reason, today I realized I have all the tools. (Because HE has given them to me!) There is nothing to keep me from putting myself out there, except the crap of self doubt, and since I am living minus the crap, there is NOTHING! YEA!


So Day 2 finds me....
1. Praising God with reckless abandon... it is simple, KEEP MY EYES ON HIM!
(minus - focus on self)
2. God has called me, and gifted me to speak, I HAVE NOTHING TO FEAR!
(minus - self doubt)