It is technically day 8 at 1:30 a.m., but I just arrived back at my grandmother and grandfathers house after 16 plus hours of working. I had decided to skip writing and just go to sleep. (I sure do need the sleep) But here I am writing. I guess I really want to stick to my commitment of writing everyday for 365 days. It occurs to me perhaps I am writing because I am listening to the voice in my head telling me I never finish or stick to anything and I am rebelling. Perhaps I should stop listening to the voice and just go to bed. Yet I write. I suppose, more true is this, I DO FINISH THINGS! I even stick to things, but because routine bores me, and because I have listened to the ick that has been told to me for so long, I have labeled myself a quitter. I'm not a quitter.
Last week I had a very difficult time fighting the lies I have become so comfortable with. I kept fighting the lies: I'm fluff with no substance, ideas with no follow through, and emotional not rational. I think tonight I wanted to write because I want to listen to the TRUTH and prove it with action. I am smart, I pay attention to details, I complete projects all the time, I stick to things that have great value and purpose, I know how to solve problems and work hard.
So tonight I am letting go of the lies! Tonight is not as much about rebelling or proving something, but simply acknowledging the value of this experiment and being who I know I am.
Tonight (or very early this morning) finds me...
Minus (-) the lies!
1 comment:
I can identify with you. First of all, finishers have struggles with the completion, but they succeed anyway. "If it were easy, everybody would do it." Hang tough and be the one who finishes this.
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