Well Thursday night my children came home!!!!! I probably don't need to say more. I only saw them for a few moments but what a blessing those few moments were. We shared some laughs and then I headed off to bed. This morning started at 5 am headed down the road to Pisgah to pick up the drama team. Arrived at the school around 7:30, started getting ready and packing up things. After loading up the shuttle we headed down the road for Charlotte. We decided to stop by two schools on our way and surprise them with Academy Days invitations, a skit, and lots of introductions and hello's. It was such a huge success. We really enjoyed the contact with the little and the big kids. They loved the distraction and the surprise. Then we grabbed a quick taco bell lunch and ended up at our church around 1pm. We then spent all afternoon practicing. We practiced drama and music. I was blown away. The first time we tried to practice music it was a disaster. I'm not exaggerating. It was terrible. We didn't even get through one song. We needed to have 6 for tomorrow. They are doing terrific! It sounds amazing! The skits have been going well and the music inspiring. Most important the students are really bonding as a team. Such a positive experience.
Today as I watched the popular and the unpopular work together, today as I listened to them come together and become a band full of praise, today as I listened to their stories, today as I saw an awkward eccentric talk about the confidence he has gained being at Pisgah, days like today make all the yesterdays worth it!!!! Today as I remembered Justin quietly as I drove the shuttle, and thought about how loved he was, about the outpouring of love for him and his family, today as I thought about all those Pisgah kids who are coming together to celebrate his life and comfort one another, today made yesterday just a little blimp. Yes I have been up since 5:00am and I still have a few things to do before hitting the pillow. Sure tomorrow I will have 27 people at my house for lunch, and the day will start at 7am, sure I will have to drive to Pisgah and back tomorrow night, but it is all worth it when you see young peoples lives changing. Watching Peter tonight playing with his class mates and doing such a great job, his guitar skills have improved so much, brought so much joy!
As Pastor Gary says there are "joy suckers" and I ran into a whole bunch yesterday, but today I received an amazing text from Lydia, today I rediscovered why I do this! Tonight I'm exhausted, sore and happy! Tonight, I didn't have to have faith that God was here, I saw him, heard him, and watched him work in so many lives! What a joy!
Happy Sabbath every one! I pray we all experience Him in a big way!
Friday, March 30, 2012
Thursday, March 29, 2012
Thursday... Are you kidding me?
Trying to focus on Christ and what he is doing in my life! I can not begin to tell you how incredibly difficult this was today. There was a central theme of this day, (C) with a theme, and the theme was this. People over and over again letting me know I am not cutting it! I am not getting things out on time, I am not returning phone calls, I am not returning emails, I am not, I am not I am not doing what I should. That was the theme. I kept trying to take it, do what I could, accept blame where I should and let it go. I tried taking moments to refocus and then, another email or phone call, to tell me AGAIN, you are not cutting it. So while I'm cleaning house I fought (C) that was telling me I needed to be working on work stuff, I didn't have the time or the luxury to clean house. Then a call or an email, and I would stop cleaning and work, then the (C) that tells me, I need to find balance, I have to take some time to be the wife and mother that I am. I am going to be working the entire weekend, I have worked Mon., Tues, Wed, and most of Thurs. and then I will work from 5am to 10pm on friday, and all day Sabbath, not getting home until probably 11pm on Sat. That is not working part time! I shouldn't feel guilty vacuuming on Thursday afternoon. So I tried again to clean and not accept the guilt, and then another text, another email and then at last one more text. I am not exaggerating when I tell you ALL were in one way or another telling me I was behind. For example I had three people including the conference text or call me to let me know the Pastor who is in charge of the Junior Department at Campmeeting was trying to get a hold of me to know if the recruiting team could help in Juniors. He sent me an email on Tues. That is the first he had tried to get a hold of me. Since Monday, there are 140 emails in my inbox. I have returned every email that had anything to do with potential students, Academy days, drama tour, MPA representatives, and Alumni weekend. However campmeeting was put on the back burner. So today, I had the privilege of knowing that he has called at least 3 other people complaining about not hearing from me. That was just one example!
Today I fought being hurt, angry, depressed, and defeated. I don't have an inspiring end to this day. I'm not sure how or why this day was such a struggle. I am ready, to spend time with my kids, spend time with the drama team. I am ready to put this day behind me, spend some time focusing on the blessings and remember that He said, ".... I am with you always, even unto the end..." I know always includes today, may not have felt it, seen it, or even experienced it, but tonight I am taking comfort in the promise that He was here just as much!
Today I fought being hurt, angry, depressed, and defeated. I don't have an inspiring end to this day. I'm not sure how or why this day was such a struggle. I am ready, to spend time with my kids, spend time with the drama team. I am ready to put this day behind me, spend some time focusing on the blessings and remember that He said, ".... I am with you always, even unto the end..." I know always includes today, may not have felt it, seen it, or even experienced it, but tonight I am taking comfort in the promise that He was here just as much!
Wednesday, March 28, 2012
Wed. We can choose where we look!
This morning after posting I kept thinking about looking for God in my day. It is so easy to see the (C) sometimes. So easy to see all that is going wrong. So easy to see all that still needs to happen. So easy to see all that is irritating, all that is yuck, but- but if we are willing to look, willing to search, willing to give Him credit-- we will see how God is in our lives. He is arranging lunches, answering prayers, comforting us, he is here! So today, I was determined to see Him and give Him credit.
So After posting, I had 4 emails to answer, phone calls to return and amazing things happened. One email was from a potential students mother who I happened to go to Pisgah with. We reconnected and enjoyed talking about our children. I am praying for them as they make their decision and I am confident that Jesus was present in our conversation. Then after that conversation I had a call from my friend Amy who was just calling to see how I was doing after the death of Justin and how the school and students were doing. In the process of our conversation she offered to house the girls this weekend so that when my kids come home for the Memorial service they can stay in their beds. It was very kind of her and I was very moved by her kindness and how God led her to call me. It was perfect timing and such a blessing. Then I had two very nice conversations with elementary schools. It was just a very uplifting and encouraging morning. I then packed up, went by the office to accomplish a couple things and drove home. On my drive home I was contemplating how much I had already experienced God! What a blessed full day!
After arriving home, I started the process of planning for the weekend, and next week. As I was working on scheduling and sending out emails, I received an email from Kevin informing me that APCS (the school there at Pisgah) was complaining about some students not having received invitations to Academy Days. We had just started mailing out invitations but have not finished the list yet. I don't need to go into details.... lets just say it is easy to loose site of what God has been doing in our lives. It is so easy to get distracted. So easy to focus on the complaining, so easy to let other peoples (C) (CRAP)!!!! (sometimes it just has to be said) get in the way!
Tonight, I am remembering that today God was with me. He brought joy, comfort, assistance and I above all know that He loves me and I love Him. I know that today, I have done the best I can today. So I am trying very hard to keep that my focus. We all have a choice to see what he has done, and that is what I am planning to do!
So After posting, I had 4 emails to answer, phone calls to return and amazing things happened. One email was from a potential students mother who I happened to go to Pisgah with. We reconnected and enjoyed talking about our children. I am praying for them as they make their decision and I am confident that Jesus was present in our conversation. Then after that conversation I had a call from my friend Amy who was just calling to see how I was doing after the death of Justin and how the school and students were doing. In the process of our conversation she offered to house the girls this weekend so that when my kids come home for the Memorial service they can stay in their beds. It was very kind of her and I was very moved by her kindness and how God led her to call me. It was perfect timing and such a blessing. Then I had two very nice conversations with elementary schools. It was just a very uplifting and encouraging morning. I then packed up, went by the office to accomplish a couple things and drove home. On my drive home I was contemplating how much I had already experienced God! What a blessed full day!
After arriving home, I started the process of planning for the weekend, and next week. As I was working on scheduling and sending out emails, I received an email from Kevin informing me that APCS (the school there at Pisgah) was complaining about some students not having received invitations to Academy Days. We had just started mailing out invitations but have not finished the list yet. I don't need to go into details.... lets just say it is easy to loose site of what God has been doing in our lives. It is so easy to get distracted. So easy to focus on the complaining, so easy to let other peoples (C) (CRAP)!!!! (sometimes it just has to be said) get in the way!
Tonight, I am remembering that today God was with me. He brought joy, comfort, assistance and I above all know that He loves me and I love Him. I know that today, I have done the best I can today. So I am trying very hard to keep that my focus. We all have a choice to see what he has done, and that is what I am planning to do!
Tuesday, crazy crazy
I am officially Old! Yep it is true. I remember my parents and grandparents always talking about how they are so much more productive in the morning. I thought they were crazy....well....I'm there...in oldvill! Yesterday morning posting was easy after trying and trying the night before and finding nothing in my brain. This morning I awoke just before 6 and finished an outline for the sermon my dad and I are going to preach for Alumni Weekend. Quite an accomplishment. It was one of those hanging over my head things.
Sent an email to all the staff about Drama tour. Now posting, then home, to get ready for Drama and work on some plans for Drama tour. Yea! Then back here to pick up students on Friday am. What a week. What a few months it will be.
Tuesday, was literally running from one spot to the next. In the midst of it all a beautiful story.
I prayed yesterday morning that God would show up in my life through experiences since the craziness of life makes it difficult for me to concentrate and delve into the word. I just expressed to God my desire to spend time with him, to have some quiet moments that I know are God filled in the midst of the chaos.
Around 4 in the afternoon my feet were propped on my desk and I was so tired and stressed my mind was freezing up like my computer likes to do sometimes. I couldn't get anything to go. So I sat there frozen. Then in walks Mr. A with a huge smile and he asks if I will do him a huge favor. He needed something very important "over nighted". I agreed, we talked about what service to use and I grabbed my things and ran out the door. All I could think was, perhaps I could also stop and pick up a caffeine drink to help wake me up! As I walked out the door I say Madison. Madison is a wonderful girl whom I love! At some point in the last week I saw her eating lunch alone in front of the church and had wondered how she was. So when I saw her standing outside I asked if she had any plans or if she could run with me to get a drink. She was waiting for a ride home, I offered to take her home after we ran the errand and got a drink. She agreed and we climbed in the car.
The next two hours were spent finding the best way to over night this package, deciding on supper instead of a drink, and having just really meaningful conversation. Let's just say it was a joy filled two hours that nourished my soul, my body, and my heart! It was a blessing for her and a blessing for me. Then as a bonus the place she wanted to eat had Rick's favorite pizza, and I knew with every crazy thing going on for him at the office that perhaps he would like one. So I took him a pizza which later fed, Rick, Beth and Ed Pelto. :) It was such a blessing! It was just really remarkable and totally a God thing that Rick asked me, that Madison was standing outside next to my car, that we had time for dinner, that we found the cheapest and fastest way to get the package where it needed to go, that we were able to feed ourselves and others too!
I experienced God yesterday in the middle of crazy, crazy! It was a terrific example of how if we ask he will answer, it is just who he is. Yet he takes care of us fully! He nourishes us, feeds us, communes with us. Hears us, abides with us. Oh what a God we serve! Oh what a God we love!
So today, I am again asking God to please help me experience Him! Let me see him, know him better! I'm expecting great things!
Sent an email to all the staff about Drama tour. Now posting, then home, to get ready for Drama and work on some plans for Drama tour. Yea! Then back here to pick up students on Friday am. What a week. What a few months it will be.
Tuesday, was literally running from one spot to the next. In the midst of it all a beautiful story.
I prayed yesterday morning that God would show up in my life through experiences since the craziness of life makes it difficult for me to concentrate and delve into the word. I just expressed to God my desire to spend time with him, to have some quiet moments that I know are God filled in the midst of the chaos.
Around 4 in the afternoon my feet were propped on my desk and I was so tired and stressed my mind was freezing up like my computer likes to do sometimes. I couldn't get anything to go. So I sat there frozen. Then in walks Mr. A with a huge smile and he asks if I will do him a huge favor. He needed something very important "over nighted". I agreed, we talked about what service to use and I grabbed my things and ran out the door. All I could think was, perhaps I could also stop and pick up a caffeine drink to help wake me up! As I walked out the door I say Madison. Madison is a wonderful girl whom I love! At some point in the last week I saw her eating lunch alone in front of the church and had wondered how she was. So when I saw her standing outside I asked if she had any plans or if she could run with me to get a drink. She was waiting for a ride home, I offered to take her home after we ran the errand and got a drink. She agreed and we climbed in the car.
The next two hours were spent finding the best way to over night this package, deciding on supper instead of a drink, and having just really meaningful conversation. Let's just say it was a joy filled two hours that nourished my soul, my body, and my heart! It was a blessing for her and a blessing for me. Then as a bonus the place she wanted to eat had Rick's favorite pizza, and I knew with every crazy thing going on for him at the office that perhaps he would like one. So I took him a pizza which later fed, Rick, Beth and Ed Pelto. :) It was such a blessing! It was just really remarkable and totally a God thing that Rick asked me, that Madison was standing outside next to my car, that we had time for dinner, that we found the cheapest and fastest way to get the package where it needed to go, that we were able to feed ourselves and others too!
I experienced God yesterday in the middle of crazy, crazy! It was a terrific example of how if we ask he will answer, it is just who he is. Yet he takes care of us fully! He nourishes us, feeds us, communes with us. Hears us, abides with us. Oh what a God we serve! Oh what a God we love!
So today, I am again asking God to please help me experience Him! Let me see him, know him better! I'm expecting great things!
Tuesday, March 27, 2012
Monday
Was a good day! Went to Ad Counsel asked permission to do a new program, had lunch with Beth, interviewed students for this summer and then worked until 10:45 on different projects at the office. Then to my grandparents to catch some sleep. Now I am running back to school to get as much work done as possible.
Recently I have been struggling because of the amount of work I have, or the amount of work that still needs to be done. I would like to be caught up so bad. I feel like I am on the down slope of a roller coaster and at the bottom are all the events coming up that I have to be prepared for. The down slope is going by so fast it is crazy. When this happens, when I get this far behind I find myself fighting lots of Crap. For example....
Becca, (my amazing intern for the summer) called this last Friday and we talked about the summer program and she is full of amazing ideas and things she would like to see us do. After I got off the phone with her I was telling Chris all about the amazing ideas she had and I joked that she was going to "kick my butt" this summer. I love her energy, I love her passion and I am so excited to be working with her. This is exactly why I need an intern. I believe interns can bring fresh ideas, and new perspectives, and she is no ordinary intern! I am excited to have Becca!
So it is all good right.... well after the phone call I caught myself fighting (C). (C) where I was suggesting to myself that I should have been doing more all along, I should have come up with more ideas, kept things fresh. Etc. I mentioned something close to that to Chris and he immediately reminded me that it is the strength of having an intern or just two minds working together. Why do I take her brilliance and immediately think it reflects negatively on me. It is (C).
I am so excited to work with her! I know the program will be better. I know she will challenge me, even push me in areas that are often left behind. I know we will be doing things different and better because of her. She is so needed and appreciated!
I am looking forward to spending the summer working with her and NOT letting my personal (C) get in! I want to appreciate her with out devaluing me. I want to celebrate her strengths and my strengths.
So while I am plummeting down this roller coaster fall, I am trying to just hang on, do what I can, accept what I can't, and pray. Pray I do what is needed and let go of what is not. Accept who I am, be thankful for the gifts I have and stop comparing myself. Stop comparing myself, and just be the best I was created to be. Delight in the strengths of others! Delight in the strengths God has given me. Remember there is nothing without Him! After all He delights in me :)
For the Lord your God is living among you. He is a mighty savior. He will take delight in you with gladness.
With his love, he will calm all your fears. He will rejoice over you with joyful songs.” Zephaniah 3:17
Recently I have been struggling because of the amount of work I have, or the amount of work that still needs to be done. I would like to be caught up so bad. I feel like I am on the down slope of a roller coaster and at the bottom are all the events coming up that I have to be prepared for. The down slope is going by so fast it is crazy. When this happens, when I get this far behind I find myself fighting lots of Crap. For example....
Becca, (my amazing intern for the summer) called this last Friday and we talked about the summer program and she is full of amazing ideas and things she would like to see us do. After I got off the phone with her I was telling Chris all about the amazing ideas she had and I joked that she was going to "kick my butt" this summer. I love her energy, I love her passion and I am so excited to be working with her. This is exactly why I need an intern. I believe interns can bring fresh ideas, and new perspectives, and she is no ordinary intern! I am excited to have Becca!
So it is all good right.... well after the phone call I caught myself fighting (C). (C) where I was suggesting to myself that I should have been doing more all along, I should have come up with more ideas, kept things fresh. Etc. I mentioned something close to that to Chris and he immediately reminded me that it is the strength of having an intern or just two minds working together. Why do I take her brilliance and immediately think it reflects negatively on me. It is (C).
I am so excited to work with her! I know the program will be better. I know she will challenge me, even push me in areas that are often left behind. I know we will be doing things different and better because of her. She is so needed and appreciated!
I am looking forward to spending the summer working with her and NOT letting my personal (C) get in! I want to appreciate her with out devaluing me. I want to celebrate her strengths and my strengths.
So while I am plummeting down this roller coaster fall, I am trying to just hang on, do what I can, accept what I can't, and pray. Pray I do what is needed and let go of what is not. Accept who I am, be thankful for the gifts I have and stop comparing myself. Stop comparing myself, and just be the best I was created to be. Delight in the strengths of others! Delight in the strengths God has given me. Remember there is nothing without Him! After all He delights in me :)
For the Lord your God is living among you. He is a mighty savior. He will take delight in you with gladness.
With his love, he will calm all your fears. He will rejoice over you with joyful songs.” Zephaniah 3:17
Sunday, March 25, 2012
Vacation is over... Back to Life
What a weekend we had, filled with sadness and joy. Both exhausting. As we drove home today I was faced with all the things I must get accomplished in the next 3 weeks. It is crazy how much there is to do. I decided I would spend the time driving to work on the two presentations I am doing for the Washington Conference. So I started the process of making an outline.
As I worked on a list of possible ways we carry around (C) I realized a huge concept. I have often heard that to keep people away often woman who are abused as children put on weight. Being overweight gives them a layer of protection. I realized today that for me, putting on weight, eating poorly is one way that I hang on to or carry around (C). It is not just to medicate myself, it also is a way to carry around and cherish (C). In a way the weight validates the lies I have believed, the (C). As we drove and I wrote I kept thinking about it. I kept realizing how much truth was in this new idea. I started thinking about the junk I put in my body. The junk being one of two things (or both,) a drug and or (C). Neither appealing. Just moments later we stopped for gas, bathroom break, and to get a drink, I got bottled water instead of Mountain Dew. I don't think I am going to become a vegan, water only, raw eater anytime soon. I do plan to work on making sure I eat food. Food that will feed my body, promote health and stop eating (C). After all just the thought is repulsive, yet I know so much of what I have eating has been just that.
Tonight I am trying to figure out how to practically stop eating for all the wrong reasons and start eating to live. Start eating to support the truth about who I am and who God desires me to be. One more day of attempting to live MtC brought just a little more clarity!
As I worked on a list of possible ways we carry around (C) I realized a huge concept. I have often heard that to keep people away often woman who are abused as children put on weight. Being overweight gives them a layer of protection. I realized today that for me, putting on weight, eating poorly is one way that I hang on to or carry around (C). It is not just to medicate myself, it also is a way to carry around and cherish (C). In a way the weight validates the lies I have believed, the (C). As we drove and I wrote I kept thinking about it. I kept realizing how much truth was in this new idea. I started thinking about the junk I put in my body. The junk being one of two things (or both,) a drug and or (C). Neither appealing. Just moments later we stopped for gas, bathroom break, and to get a drink, I got bottled water instead of Mountain Dew. I don't think I am going to become a vegan, water only, raw eater anytime soon. I do plan to work on making sure I eat food. Food that will feed my body, promote health and stop eating (C). After all just the thought is repulsive, yet I know so much of what I have eating has been just that.
Tonight I am trying to figure out how to practically stop eating for all the wrong reasons and start eating to live. Start eating to support the truth about who I am and who God desires me to be. One more day of attempting to live MtC brought just a little more clarity!
Saturday, March 24, 2012
Hang on!
So last Thursday I didn't have internet access to post and then Friday night everything fell apart and I just didn't have the strength to do this.
Early Friday evening we got a call from Andrew. Chris answered the phone and immediately I knew something was terribly wrong. Chris kept asking what had happened. After a couple minutes (me holding my breath literally trying to hear everything) Chris said something that let me know it was Justin Hanna.
Justin was a classmate of Andrew and Sarah and he died in a drowning accident of Friday. He was swimming in a rock quarry near Oakwood University where he was attending. His father died a few years ago. So now his mother and his elder brother have another great loss.
Last night I was very worried about Andrew, he was really upset, his phone was dead and he went out with his buddies, a perfect recipe for stressed out mom!
There is no question that the greatest struggle as a mother at this stage in parenting is letting go. Letting go of your children so they can fly. The events of this weekend have made it so much harder. When you know a mother who lost her son and your kids are hurting because of the loss of their friend, you want to be able to fix it and protect them.
All I can say tonight is please hang on to those you love. Hug them and tell them you love them. Hang onto them with love and support. Yet all the while giving our children the freedom to grow up and fly. What a hard balancing act.
I love you Anna, I love you Sarah, and I love you Andrew. Be safe, keep Christ the center of your lives, enjoy life and know I will always cherish you! I love you!
Early Friday evening we got a call from Andrew. Chris answered the phone and immediately I knew something was terribly wrong. Chris kept asking what had happened. After a couple minutes (me holding my breath literally trying to hear everything) Chris said something that let me know it was Justin Hanna.
Justin was a classmate of Andrew and Sarah and he died in a drowning accident of Friday. He was swimming in a rock quarry near Oakwood University where he was attending. His father died a few years ago. So now his mother and his elder brother have another great loss.
Last night I was very worried about Andrew, he was really upset, his phone was dead and he went out with his buddies, a perfect recipe for stressed out mom!
There is no question that the greatest struggle as a mother at this stage in parenting is letting go. Letting go of your children so they can fly. The events of this weekend have made it so much harder. When you know a mother who lost her son and your kids are hurting because of the loss of their friend, you want to be able to fix it and protect them.
All I can say tonight is please hang on to those you love. Hug them and tell them you love them. Hang onto them with love and support. Yet all the while giving our children the freedom to grow up and fly. What a hard balancing act.
I love you Anna, I love you Sarah, and I love you Andrew. Be safe, keep Christ the center of your lives, enjoy life and know I will always cherish you! I love you!
Subscribe to:
Posts (Atom)