What a weekend we had, filled with sadness and joy. Both exhausting. As we drove home today I was faced with all the things I must get accomplished in the next 3 weeks. It is crazy how much there is to do. I decided I would spend the time driving to work on the two presentations I am doing for the Washington Conference. So I started the process of making an outline.
As I worked on a list of possible ways we carry around (C) I realized a huge concept. I have often heard that to keep people away often woman who are abused as children put on weight. Being overweight gives them a layer of protection. I realized today that for me, putting on weight, eating poorly is one way that I hang on to or carry around (C). It is not just to medicate myself, it also is a way to carry around and cherish (C). In a way the weight validates the lies I have believed, the (C). As we drove and I wrote I kept thinking about it. I kept realizing how much truth was in this new idea. I started thinking about the junk I put in my body. The junk being one of two things (or both,) a drug and or (C). Neither appealing. Just moments later we stopped for gas, bathroom break, and to get a drink, I got bottled water instead of Mountain Dew. I don't think I am going to become a vegan, water only, raw eater anytime soon. I do plan to work on making sure I eat food. Food that will feed my body, promote health and stop eating (C). After all just the thought is repulsive, yet I know so much of what I have eating has been just that.
Tonight I am trying to figure out how to practically stop eating for all the wrong reasons and start eating to live. Start eating to support the truth about who I am and who God desires me to be. One more day of attempting to live MtC brought just a little more clarity!
No comments:
Post a Comment