This has been such a full day. I have been so blessed today, that it seems like it has been several days long. Today I watched students commit their lives to God! Today there were baptisms, today we were all challenged, today I felt, today I thought, today I prayed, today I recommitted my life to Jesus, today I prayed, to day was ridiculous!!!!!
With so many blessings it is hard to find anything that wasn't, any struggle, because I am just so full! However, there were several moments I identified as (C) getting in the way. (C) causing a struggle where there didn't need to be a struggle.
Over the past several days there have been calls. Calls made by the preachers, calls made to the young, the old, and each one made in very different ways. We were asked to stand to sing, told to stand if we like, sit if we prefer, etc. Just worshiping in a group of people brings up (C) better known as insecurities, that get in the way of me hearing and listening to the holy spirit.
It was technically yesterday, or last night as I was falling asleep that I realized the (C) had held me back from worshiping in a way I had hoped to. So today, when the (C) started to creep in I washed it off and tried to freely worship. First I stood to sing when no one was standing. It was a song that was lively and I yearned to stand, so I did. Next thing you know they are asking from the front that all stand.... Then the biggy... a call from the minister.
He made a call in a very different way talking specifically to the old- or the grown up adults. He spoke to us about being willing to admit to the youth that we have struggled with stuff, and then also be willing to testify that we have had victory. If we were willing to come forward. I knew I 100% agreed with what he was saying and was willing and wanting to publicly say it! So, I just stood and walked up. It is so simply yet so many times in my life, over and over again, I have sat through calls, or sat when others were sitting, even if I wanted to be standing. I have seen others get up and thought, "well no that they went first if I go it will look like I'm copying them." Sound silly, YES IT IS!!!!
There is no question the Lord can bless me sitting down. There is no question! I am so happy to be taking steps to be FREE to BE exactly who he wants me to be, sitting or standing, accepting calls or praying in my seat for those who are.
Today, I let go of (C) and was able to accept a call, to step forward, and proclaim the victory in my life because of Jesus Christ! Today when the minister asked us to raise our hands during the prayer, I raised them and I mean fully raised them! Not the little wings by your side kind of raising your hands, but full above my head raised my hands. I cried. I cried because it was amazing to raise my hands and be consumed with thoughts of the loving Savior I was surrendering to and not thoughts of what I must look like, or what others must be thinking of me. Full surrender. Fully committing my all to Jesus, those were my thoughts and rightly so!
No comments:
Post a Comment