Monday, the day before I head back to work-- lets just say I was in a funk! Huge funk! I didn't want to leave. I just wanted to be home, with my husband and my girl. I love traveling, I love my job, but I hate leaving him. OK I know I have blogged about this before, but it was my struggle on Monday. All I could do was mope. My feelings took over and I was a wreck. Chris got home from work and ended up having to work very hard to drag a smile, or anything out of me. Finally after watching mindless terrible TV, we headed off to bed. As we climbed into bed I told Chris that it was all about not wanting to leave him, hating that I had to go. I then said, "I should just quit." To which he said, "Beth you love your job! You love the kids! You have been called to this job for now! You will be fine." I'm not sure that is exactly what he said, but I'm sure about the you love your job and you love the kids part! He was right. I know for now this is where God wants me to be, and I also know (thanks to the wisdom from a friend) it is OK to feel and I was feeling sad!
I am thankful for my work, for the ministry it includes, for the quality amazing students who amaze me everyday! For the incredible staff I have the privilege of partnering with. I am incredibly blessed and sad all at the same time! What I must distinguish between is (C) and just sad feelings. It is not (C) that I will miss my husband, it is not (C) that I am sad to leave, it is (C) to shame myself for feeling!
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