348- Beth

Today I had a quick and yummy lunch with Beth.  I have been focusing on my name a lot recently.  Thinking about it's meaning, and who I am.  I know I have written this before but I was reminded how much more I like my name because of Beth.  We had the opportunity to go to lunch.  I have not seen Beth or had the opportunity to talk with her much and today as we were enjoying conversation I was reminded what a lovely person she is, how much I enjoy our times together and how much more I like my name!  Thanks Beth!

Perhaps the lowest moment was when I heard my boy is once again struggling with his car.  What is the deal with him and cars.  It is not for a lack of trying that we have tried to keep that boy in a car.  Tonight it just started acting up again.  My heart just sunk when Chris told me.  Chris sounded so sad, and he was sad because Andrew was sad--- ergggg--- I can't handle my men being so sad. 

I want to find a way to fix it, to make it all better.  I hate it.  Tonight I am struggling because I wish I was with Chris.  I wish he wasn't home alone struggling with the stress.  Not that I could do anything other than be a distraction... which I'm very good at...LOL! 

However seriously, these are one of those moments when I am reminded that I can't and am not supposed to fix it.  Frankly the idea, even the thought that I can fix it is (C).  I too often, way too often take on others stuff, when I shouldn't.  I think it is something us women do way too often.  I want to fix enrollment, fix my kids, fix the church, fix the country.... too grandiose.... duh! Why do we do that.  Today, I had conversations about doing flowers for people... because I can....about extra work ideas....because I can....things for my grandparents...because I can....NOT BECAUSE I should.  It is a disease.  I some how some way have got to step back and ask the question, "is this mine or not?"  If it is not mine, then I need to let it go and be willing to let others handle what is theirs!

Praying for my boy, loving him and being disappointed for him, instead of trying to just take it all away!