Tuesday, September 4, 2012

342- Cutting... Saying No (Thurs)

In case you are wondering I made it through picture day.  I walked in the room, sat on the bench and smiled.  I survived.  The real trial of my day was finalizing the Present Truth Drama team for this next year.  I ran around finding the last few students who needed to audition. Listened to auditions and then started the process of cutting names, choosing who I would say no to.  It was terrible.

I fought with the part of me who wants to find the best in people, wants to see the possibilities, wants to discover those who others won't give a chance to and the part of me who wants to accomplish the difficult job and just choose.  I want to be able to say no to choose the best of the best, and yet I want to be able to help and grow those who need it.  (Wow that sounds ridiculous).

It was a day of constant struggling.  Questioning my struggle.  Was it because that is just who I am?  Was I struggling because of (C) in my life.  Was I struggling because I wanted to prove I'm not just the softy everyone thinks I am.  I wanted to do a good job, but I also really really wanted to make sure that my stuff didn't get in the way of me choosing exactly who needed to be on drama.

After working with my assistant we finally made the decision.  We decided on the must haves and then a couple "potentials".  I am thrilled about the list and the possibilities.

Then after a short meeting, dinner with Beth and Rick, I was on my way home to Chris.  I am happy to have this decision making process behind me.  I now pray for wisdom in working with the amazing group of youth.

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