362- Brene' Brown----Excellent

Tonight I had the opportunity to go and hear Brene' Brown speak at a local church.  It was a book signing for her new book Daring Greatly.   I looked forward to it all day.  What a great opportunity it was to hear her this week.  This week, of all weeks.  Here I am at the end of this journey, (just three days left), wondering what is next, evaluating the past 362 days, the changes in me, and in the midst of it all I have the opportunity to hear Brene' and have my books signed.  Wow!

When I first read, "The Gifts of Imperfection" it was on day...237.  Well into this journey.  I had been blundering along, just doing my best to figure out a way to let go of the Crap.  Reading it was such a boost.  I had been having a difficult time, and frankly was spending way to much time wondering whether this was a big waste of time, or of value for me.  Brene's writing about vulnerability and shame put words and terms to what I had been struggling with, striving for and washing off.  As you know, I don't like to read... yet I read her book, listened to her book and as of tonight I own "The gifts of imperfection" three ways, (audio book, ibook, and a real book signed by Brene') So to have the opportunity in the midst of my final week to hear her live, was huge huge huge!!!! She challenged me, she inspired me, and she motivated me.  I have a new book to read and much to think about. 

I have been really struggling with the idea that this journey is about to end.  I have tried to figure out why, what is hard about it, and frankly I don't have all the answers.  I find myself wanting to cry with an almost panicked feeling--- why--- here are some possiblities...

This process has become a part of who I am, a part of me.
I'm not sure where to go from here.
I'm afraid
Most logical next steps---I'm not sure I am confident enough, good enough, legit enough.

Tonight Brene read a quote from the front cover of her book, it reads:

It is not the critic who counts; not the man who points out how the strong man stumbles; or where the doer of deeds could have done them better.

The credit belongs to the man who is actually in the arena, whose face is marred by dust and sweat and blood; who strives valiantly...who at the best knows in the end the triumph of high achievement, and who at the worst, if he fails, at least fails while daring greatly. - Theodore Roosevelt  

Frankly, I am tonight wondering if I what it takes to start something new, scary, that I may/would probably fail at?  Am I ready to dare greatly?

I guess I better start this book and pray, and continue on for the next three days and figure it out.  I want to be vulnerable enough to dare greatly.