Well, I tried to sing in the rain today, the only problem was it was a sunshiny day when I started to sing...
In looking back on this process one of many helpful things I have discovered is the importance of intentionality. I have had to be intentional about letting go of crap. Identifying it, letting go of it, finding ways to deflect others etc. All of which takes a good steady dose of intentionality.
On Monday driving over to work in Asheville, I listened to the last of the book, The Gifts of Imperfection, and it inspired me be intentional about being free to be a mess, being free to be silly, being free to me and no one else. It inspired me to continue on this path and to be intentional about joy, about the freedom to be a little crazy.
Today I was driving home, thinking about work, things I need to accomplish, while I was thinking about where I am, and what God wants for me..... I was reminded of what Brene' Brown had written in the book, a story where she shares how she was out shopping with her daughter. She wasn't feeling put together, she sees a group of moms all quite lovely and well put together with their equally amazing daughters. Then she notices that her daughter (I don't remember the age.... maybe eight) has heard a song being played and starts dancing to the song. She then notices the put together ladies and their daughters watching with disgust and instead of getting her to stop she joins in. Wow what a mom. I know years ago I would have never... NEVER done that! I know now...I would want to but..... Oh I'm not there yet!
She also talks about just taking time in the kitchen with the family to dance, to have joyful moments. I know it is biblical, I know it is important. So today as I was driving home stressed, thinking about all I should have, could have, would have to do.... I decided to sing. I came down a hill and the beauty was overwhelming and I just burst into song.... at first it was amazing (not the singing but the joy!) then I started to have thoughts like, "well isn't this stupid, don't you look foolish.." but I just kept singing... "he is risen, Christ is risen....So let your name be lifted higher... be lifted higher... be lifted higher.... so let your name be lifted higher, be......"
I thought about singing in the rain and what a wonderful thought that is. For me--- in the midst of whatever--- to be willing to sing in the rain. I guess today I wanted to be free enough to sing, free enough to sing in the rain. There was no rain, just a little fog in the mountains, but I sang and sang!
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