Through out my life I have often struggled with feeling behind. Behind with school work, behind with laundry, behind everyone else (while running or walking), behind, behind, behind, behind. I am now officially behind in blogging. I have almost an entire week of partially written, but never completed blogs. I'm not exactly sure what has happened. This morning I awoke and started working on finishing the blogs, and getting caught up. I told myself I didn't need to blog about yesterday because at least I had written the current blog last night....I must have dreamed it. No blog was completed yesterday either. I'm not going crazy, just exhausted. I have so many partial blogs because I start and then fall asleep, or after a few minutes I loose my train of thought etc.
I will get caught up, but for now, I want to keep moving forward and not getting farther behind.
Tomorrow our little girl, our Anna is being pinned! She is graduating with her AS in Nursing. It is hard to believe. She is headed down to Florida this next week for two interviews. I am so proud of her. So thankful for her mind, her heart and her willingness to work hard. I was able to spend quite a bit of time with her today. We shopped for a purse, shoes etc for her interview and enjoyed the time together. This was a much needed day of just being with our kids. We went out to eat with our three children, what a joy to have our family all together. For many years now there are always other friends, or girlfriend or boyfriends around, but today it was just us five. As we sat around the table at Macaroni Grill, I was amazed. I was amazed at their uniqueness. How much I love and admire each one, yet they are completely their own person. They love each other, and love to bicker too! As I sat there watching them I didn't feel behind! I am not behind in the area of parenting, I am 43 and my children are all in college. You could argue that is almost being ahead! We have three children whom are all in college, what a blessing!
I was reminded today that of all the things I have had the opportunity to do, of all the things I have been asked to do, of all my jobs, or titles, Mom is one of my favorites! (I'd say favorite, but it has to take a second seat to being a wife.... although not sure I can call that a job :)) It is perhaps my most important job and looking at my three children, I have to say, I'm not behind!
Tonight I am thanking God for entrusting Chris and I with these three incredible human beings.
Today a dear friend Sondra reminded me to keep my focus on dying to self. I know it is equally as bad to puff up ones self as it is to loath ones self. Both are being consumed with self! So tonight I am praising God for my children, and the blessings he has brought and I will surrender me. I will not beat myself up over being behind, or puff myself up over being ahead, but instead look to Jesus Christ, rest in his love tonight and bask in His presence.
Ahhhh how sweet it is. This has been just one more day trying to live MtC! Looking at Him, that is how!
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