Tuesday

Today has all been about getting ready to travel to Anna's graduation.  I have been trying to figure out what to wear, when to leave, etc. etc.   It is amazing how difficult little tasks are when you are exhausted! 

The big task for the day was cleaning out the car.  That may not sound like a big deal, but there were two huge reasons why it took most of my day.  First and most disgusting was the milk carton, I forgot was in there that then proceeded to explode in the heat and leak all over the back seat.  The smell was unbearable!Second, I have been living out of it for several weeks so the amount of "stuff" all through the car, trunk, back seat, front seat, everywhere, was ridiculous!  It took forever to weed through it all and get it completely cleaned out.  I had to take out the back seat and completely clean underneath it. I had to clean a seat belt etc.  It was crazy.

I couldn't help but think about this process as I stared at my trunk full of (C) and wondered where and how to begin.  The trunk had remnants of my life over the last couple months.  Receipts, bulletins, drink bottles, clothes, shoes, gifts, cards, it was this crazy pile of trash and non trash that all had some connection to what has been happening in my life.

I realized this process of letting go and cleaning out the (C) in my life is basically a pile or remnants from my life.  I kept thinking as I was cleaning out the trunk, "why did this not go directly in the trash. What possessed me to put it in the trunk instead of finding a trash can?"  The same stands for all the (C).  Why didn't I bearing it, why didn't I wash it off along the way?

So today as I was struggling with what to wear this weekend, feeling insecure about my looks, about my wardrobe, I decided to bury it.  To let it go and keep the focus where it needs to be, on ANNA!  I am so proud of her, and this weekend is about celebrating her!   I am not going to let my (C) clutter up the weekend.  Just as I cleaned out the car, so we would have more room, and so we could travel clutter free, I am going to do my best to bury the (C) and spend the weekend (C) free with my girl!