This post is very late. Academy days started this past Friday and I slept about a total of 9 hours the entire weekend. Even today, I still could not muster the energy to catch up on blogging. I had taken notes, written down thoughts from the weekend, but completing a blog post was more than I could do.
Friday, the day was filled with moments where I kept hearing, how unprepared I was. I was constantly seeing things I wish I had done. Finding holes in my program, Wishing I had more done. Yet the entire day was also filled with colleagues stepping up and helping out. It was filled with students willingly and cheerfully doing jobs that were boring and even gross. At one point I had to ask some gentlemen to go to the ball field and pick up dog (C). They were willing and had it done in just moments.
I awoke Friday with the realization that I needed a huge list of supplies from the store and I no time in the day to get them! Tammy was headed to Walmart to pick up a couple things for me, and I couldn't bear to ask her to get the whole list. I awoke panicked. I had failed to make the list and purchase it earlier, it was my failure and now fuel for (C) I was holding on to. I prayed about it, asked for strength to let go of the (C) and then sent a text to Tammy with the entire list. I don't like to ask for help, especially!!!!!!!! if it is my failure that has put me in the position to need help. Non the less, I asked, and then continued on my work. After completing several much needed projects, I headed into the office to find my office full of bags from Walmart, the entire list, already in my office. Thank you, thank you Tammy!!!!
Lunch time came and I knew I didn't have time to eat, then Beth came by my office and suggested we get a quick lunch. I didn't feel like I had time, but knew I need to be better at eating on crazy days. Then I thought about printing that needed to be picked up at the printers, right next to Neo Burrito. We headed out the door, ate a good lunch and picked up the printing and headed back to school. That ended up being the only meal I ate all day until 10:30 at night when Tammy again came to my rescue and fed me. Thank you Beth!!!!! Thank you Tammy!!!
Today I started many many times to load crap on myself, I kept seeing all my failures, all my short comings. All day I kept seeing how when I was willing to ask for help, willing to accept help, things went so much better. It is easy and a double dose of destructive behavior to not ask for help because of (C) I am believing about myself. When I was willing to set it down, accept my failure without loading on the (C), then and only then was I able to ask for the help. As a result, I survived the day with a family around me helping with the load.
As I was contemplating the day as vespers was going on, a woman come into the lobby of the church with her daughter and her daughters friend who she brought to Academy Days. I welcomed them and quickly deducted that this woman had had a terrible day. She looked beat, or beaten down. She looked like she was about to fall apart. She was wanting to unload her daughters things asap so that she could start down the road another hour+ drive to her parents home. I suggested we get a hotel for her. She said she couldn't, she had no way to pay for it. I immediately without thinking offered to have the school pay for her hotel, to take care of it so she could go and get some rest. Moments later after the girls had gone into vespers she told me of her day and with tears accepted my offer. She had been beaten down all week at work, had an eternally long day and was now facing financial struggles she was completely unprepared for. She was tired and hopeless.
As I went to bed, Friday I was exhausted, scared of what Sabbath would bring, thankful for letting those around me help me, and thankful that I was able to read the woman's need and listen to the Holy Spirit prompting me to offer hospitality.
The whole experience was a reminder that yes I may not be as organized as I would like, I may not have completed everything I wanted to complete, there are many areas I fall short in, but there are also areas that I excel in. I am good at person to person interaction! I am good at communicating with all types of individuals. God has blessed me, so I need to keep working to improve, while working hard to do what I know he has blessed me with. I need to stop focusing on the (C) and see the gifts he has given and use them the best I can!
No comments:
Post a Comment