Today I awoke to the smell of breakfast being cooked. I got dressed and headed downstairs to help out. There were plenty of people helping out so I went on into the family room and spent time with the kids. Then later on I was summoned to the kitchen. In the kitchen I was asked how I make brown sugar homemade syrup. I told mom that I don't make brown sugar syrup but just a simple syrup with maple flavoring, she actually didn't believe me at first. Then my sister in law shared what she makes, then mom started talking about what she makes, there was stress, debate with an attempt to figure out the perfect syrup. I simply left the room and went into the family room. I sat down next to my dad and had a conversation about what had happened. In that conversation I realized some very important things.
First, for years when the stressful moments like that happen, not bad stress but stressful none the less, I just take it. I hate it, it erodes away at my soul, yet I usually just take it, or get mad. Today, I just walked away.
Second, I realized time that is just freely mine is important. For example, I grew up in a house where when Mom decided that she needed to get things done, it had to be done, right then, and what I was doing or not doing didn't matter, I had to help out that very moment. I realized I need time that is just mine. Time where I am free to do nothing or be productive but where I get to decided. This opened my eyes to issues Chris and I have had. It helped me understand myself so much better and it all happened because I was willing and able to walk away from a stressful situation. It also was possible because I didn't take on (C) like I normally would when in those stressful situations.
I have been amazed at how much better things are getting. I am very encouraged knowing this process is helping me be more mindful, more conscious of what is going on so that I have the ability to deal with it.
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