For each of us there are moments that forever change us. Moments that completely change the way we think about things, or change our view of someone. I can look back and identify many defining moments.
1. The first time my daddy asked if I would like to go with him on visitations. I was a very little girl, 7 or 8, and that was the first time I remember feeling like a woman :)
2. The moment a woman told me I needed to watch my weight at 11... the first time I felt fat.
3. Hot chocolate with whipped cream and a cherry on top. That is when I first thought there might be someone as good as my dad.... or better!
4. The Hilton Hotel....
5. Becoming a mother.... the day I went back to school....Sitting in church and seeing the empty pew beside me and knowing nothing would ever be the same again, my nest is truly empty! -- On and on and on....
Defining moment today.... Acts 9:34 And Peter said unto him, Aeneas, Jesus Christ makes you whole: arise, and make your bed. And he arose immediately.
I have been praying to be made whole. I have been praying for healing. I have been praying to be set free. I have faith he can, I have faith if it will glorify him, it will happen! Tonight this scripture hit me. It is one of those moments when things are even more clear! Yes only He can heal. Only Him! But with healing comes my response to NOT stay in the same state as I was before healing! As Christ sees fit to heal and make me whole....I have to be willing then to pick up my bed, make my bed, and walk, run, or attempt ballet.
The last couple weeks as I have posted I have been struggling with this idea of His role and mine. If it is only Him than what do I do, just sit around and wait, keep going about my life as I always have, is blogging, going to ballet class, claiming promises etc. all me trying to make it happen in my time? Should I be more willing to just sit and wait? I know we are to wait on the Lord, we are to surrender to Him etc. Tonight, it seems clear to me. Tonight I pictured myself as Aeneas, being healed, and then there was this point where he had a choice. He could have just decided that the bed he was on was familiar and comfortable. He could have decided to just continue lying around as he had for so long. After all walking, running, making his bed, these were all unfamiliar. He also could have questioned whether or not he had truly been healed. He could have said he needed time to adjust to the idea that he might be able to walk. I have to make choices and as the Lord guides and as the Lord heals, I then have a part to play. If I want to walk, I have to get up and walk. He may have healed my legs, but He won't force me to walk.
I also believe tonight that there are things I can do while waiting for healing or while living with my holes. There are things I can do to help. I can claim promises, learn to have faith in him, learn to accept my pain and use it to glorify God. Learn to accept this journey and do my part.
Reading this text encouraged me. Reading this text inspired me to get up, make my bed and run. It has inspired me to surrender my life to Christ, trust he will make me whole, and in the mean time, I am going to do everything I can to facilitate healing. Perhaps those steps I take will be part of His plan for healing me.
Today was a defining moment for me. "....Jesus Christ has made you whole... get up, make your bed and run!"
As I read this text I am reminded of the importance for me to "make my bed and get up".
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