Tonight there is so much I want to say. So much I want to write about and yet I have been up for 19 hours, and I am exhausted. So I am going to say just this....
Today I had to deal with lots of (C) from the past. Hurts that are very very old. Why and how it came up is unimportant, but oh how it hurt.
At one point driving and praying, I thought of the sea, the depths of the sea. I know the scripture talks about Christ putting our sins in the depths of the sea, but today I was praying that he would take the (C) from so long ago. The (C) that I have held on to for far to long.... I prayed that he would take it and dump it into the deepest sea, never to be seen again. Then I thought about how sometimes (C) doesn't sink. Sometimes it floats and just pollutes the water.
Then I thought about (C) and the best way to dispose of it, and I remembered the second home Chris and I lived in. Our children were little and keeping up with the yard was very difficult, but we tried. There were no real flower beds or landscaping and the lawn was more trimmed weeds than lawn. Yet right across our front yard was this long 3X20 foot wide swath of lush green lawn. It was beautiful, bright green and grew at a much faster rate than the rest of the yard. It was the septic line. It was all the (C) from our family that was creating this lush green stripe. (C) can make something beautiful if we are willing to let go and bury it. It stinks, it stains, it attracts flies, but once buried it changes and creates beauty!
So today when I discovered a whole lot of old crap, I mean old moldy been around way to long crap, I decided to change my prayer and ask God to please help me bury it. I ask Him to help me bury it so beauty can grow out of this life. I don't want to stink, stain or attract flies, but contribute to beauty.
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