Race Day....Excitement, Fun with Girls, an Annoying Angel, a Day to Remember

This morning started at 1am with Sarah jumping on my bed and singing to me, so excited!  She was laughing and telling me that this was pay back for all the mornings I would sing and jump on their beds to wake them up :).  We were all excited and terribly nervous. We spent about an hour dressing up, attaching tiara's to our heads, and then headed out the door to meet the bus at 3am.  As we boarded the bus, my head was spinning and my stomach was in knots.  I was doubting this whole decision.  Afraid of what was to come...not looking forward to looking like one of the people you see running, and you say...."what were they thinking, seriously what made them think they could do this!"  Then as we sat in the bus waiting to go a lady in front of me was spewing (C)!  She was talking with another woman about the things this race needed to change, and yes one of her complaints was that they needed to do something about the pace, she said, "Seriously don't people know this is not about walking! It takes me five miles before I am out from all the crazy people who think this is just a stroll!"  ERG!!!!! CRAP!!! I was feeling it and starting to stink! Not exactly what I needed.  Then I turned my attention to the conversation Sarah was having with the lady across the isle from us.  She has had knee surgery several times, has always wanted to run a half marathon so this was her first and last.  She was completely by herself and she was nervous but also so thrilled to be doing something on her list!  Her husband had signed her up.  That helped.... Then I said a prayer.... I reminded myself, this was about me and my girls, about accomplishing something, or attempting something and I was not going to accept the (C) of others!

The bus dropped us off at a huge gathering area, there was a DJ music blaring, lights and a very festive atmosphere.  It helped wake us up, and certainly made us more excited.

  After waiting around, dancing a little with my girls we finally went to another area where we waited for them to open the gates so we could start the 1 mile walk to the Corral.  Our Corral was E.  We were right in the middle of the pack.  That walk made me more and more nervous.  We get to our corral and we have about an hour yet to wait before start time.  We took a couple pictures and then just stood there waiting.  Carolyn, Maria and Joanne joined us a while later, that was so nice.  It was wonderful seeing friendly familiar faces.  There are 20 plus thousand runners at this race, the mass of people is unbelievable. 

Then they start the first corral and the nerves really start.... then the next group and the next until we are next.  At the start we run, here we go ready or not.

The first mile the three of us were together.  Fighting through lots of people, being passed by most!  Then at mile 2 Anna was ready to be on her own so she took off.  Then we saw a runner passing us on the other side, she was already approaching mile 10.  What an amazing picture it was to see her long legs gliding her along at an unbelievable pace. She was a picture of beauty and strength.  I was amazed at how she was just made for this sport.  It was as if when God created her, he formed a runner, gave her the heart the legs, the stride, etc.  She was a sight to behold.

My attention was now back on the fact that I was not feeling so much like a runner.  I needed to pee, and my back was starting to hurt.  Sarah, stopped at the porta john line, but I decided I didn't have time to wait in line.  I told Sarah I was going to keep going and she could catch up.  I would stay to one side, so she could find me in the mass.  It wasn't long before she was back with me.  By this time the slight discomfort in my lower back had become a shooting pain, going up my back and down my butt.  I was in agony and my pace was getting slower and slower.  At mile 3 I suggested to Sarah that she go on ahead.  She refused saying she was just going to run with me.  By three and a half I was begging her.  Our pace had slowed to 14:30 minute miles, and I was in agony.  My back felt like it was going to give out at any moment.  I told her, I didn't want her getting to far behind the required 16 minute mile pace and risk being picked up because of me.  I assured her I was fine and told her to run, and have fun.  At this point tears were coming, and she realized I was serious about the pain and at not quite 4 miles things didn't look good.  With tears in her eyes she agreed and took off.  I was thankful she was off and running, it was sad to see her go, but with her leaving went the pressure to keep up so she could finish!

Not long after she left there was a little but steep hill.  That did it for my back,  I was now afraid I was going to have to quit.  I started battling piles and piles of (C)!  All the ugly things I have ever listened too seemed to be on loud speaker blaring in my ear.  Yet quietly in the other ear was the knowledge that my back had nothing to do with running and everything to do with the heavy boxes I had carried to the post office the Wed. before. It was bad timing to have back issues  but this was not  just a running issue.  I tried to not accept the (C) and to keep going one step at a time.

As I ran down main street in the Magic Kingdom, I was sad my girls weren't with me. I wished I could see them run through the castle, I wished we could take pictures together, but at the same time, I was so thankful that we were each able to just go and do our best independently.  I was proud of them, and excited I had made it this far. Then I get a phone call from Anna telling me she had passed the half way point.  She was having issues with her knees, but so happy to be past half way.  I told her I was hurting too and not sure how this was going to end.

All this time I still needed to use the toilet but there were none to be found. Then finally just pass the castle they had a line of porta johns and there were only a few people waiting in line.  I decided the pain in my kidneys from needing to go so bad may be contributing to my back pain so I stopped.  It did feel good to not have a full bladder, but going from 14:30 pace to 15:15 pace was discouraging.  I knew I was getting slower and slower and I still had a long ways to go.  I knew at any minute those pace cars might come and get me.

At mile seven I felt terrible.  By this time not only was my back in pain, but the back of my knees.  Not my knees but the back of my legs behind my knee felt like they were being ripped apart.  Also my feet were hurting.  I was in bad shape and certain this was not going to end well.  About that time I got a call from Anna.  She told me she was only able to walk because of her knees.  She was in a lot of pain.  I encouraged her and shared how I was doing.

Then I started up a slight incline.  My back was screaming at me. The hills made it so much worse.  I wasn't sure I could make the hill but was determined to keep going.  So I decided to stop and see if I could stretch to help eleviate the pain behind my knee.  My thought process was,.... can't do anything about the back, let me see if I can do something about the knees.... I tried finding a stretch that would help.... no luck.  I was still bent over attempting to find something when a scrawny little arm went through my arm grabbing it and a woman said, "Come on Elizabeth, I'm not letting you stop! I'm going to do this with you!" and she just started walking.  I had to go or loose my balance because her arm was so tightly intertwined with mine.  At first I started to bristle... then she said, " Are you Ok?"  Here was my out!   I was going to describe my terrible back pain and explain this hill we were climbing etc. and she would let go!  Instead her response was to start praying!  That was not what I was expecting or even wanting.  In that split second, a million things went through my mind.  Like...."who does she think she is....Is she trying to save my soul.... how dare she....I don't like obnoxious Christians who try to impose on others....."  Then the quiet voice..." Beth, who are you?  What is on your shirt?  (a bible verse)  "you are a christian and you appreciate prayer! You NEED prayer!  What a blessing this is."  I then became very emotional realizing the gift this woman was!  After her prayer she just kept encouraging me and telling me that we were almost to the level!  When we got to the top I thanked her and she quickly responded, "You are not getting rid of me!"  I almost hated to hear that.  I have discovered that running is for me a very internal experience.  I need to be able to go inside, not be interacting with others.  It perhaps is to much of a battle.  I'm not sure but I wanted to be alone again.  Then she was gone,  running ahead to catch up with a woman she was running with.  I was relieved!

Anna called me and said she was at mile 9 and she was going to stop at the medical tent because her knees were really bad.  She said she was going to see if there was anything she could do.  I could tell by her voice she was done.  I told her how bad off I was too and just to do what she could and be proud of her efforts. I told her to call.  I was really down at that point,  I could just see mile marker 8, but it was a ways ahead, and with Anna quitting I was feeling like maybe I should too.  Then Anna calls and says that she got some Bio Freeze and it was helping so she was back at it walking!  I was so proud of her, I decided I had to keep putting one foot in front of the other....

Then after about a mile or so I see another hill.  This time I think to pray myself, and then just tell myself, one foot in front of the other that is all you have to do.  As the pain started so came some tears.  The back was excruciating. I tried adjusting my posture to help and looked up,...... to see that scrawny little lady running down the hill toward me.  With a smile on her face she said, "You didn't think I was going to let you climb this hill alone did you?"  I wasn't sure if I was excited or not, but she didn't exactly give me a choice putting her arm through mine and picking up the pace.  She then said, "Elizabeth, these 1/2 marathons are wonderful, the brake us, take everything out of you, and then broken, it is a great place to leave stuff behind."  She even hesitated on the word stuff and before she had said it I had inserted (C)!  Really!!!!!!! Of all the things she could have said.  The tears just started flowing and all I could think about was all the reasons I had chosen to do such a run.  I was then not thinking of the back pain as I climbed the hill but all the emotional pain, the (C) that says, I'm not good enough, strong enough, I don't finish things, I am all fluff no substance, all the (C) and I pictured shedding it along the way!  One step at a time.  By this time, I was not annoyed at this annoying little woman I was realizing that if not an actual angel she was a woman who was connected to God and was letting him speak through her!!!!!!

As we made it to the top I tried to express what a blessing she was and she just again said, "Your not getting rid of me!"  I realized when she said it how many times I do that to God.  I am so grateful for the help, so thankful for the blessings and in my thank you I am saying, "that is enough, I'll take it from here."  I wasn't saying that to this lady but that is what she was rightly hearing. I know I have done that so much with God, yet His response as hers is, "your not getting rid of me."  

She ran on ahead and this time as she left to join the other lady she was running with I watched her run away and noticed on the back of her shirt was written, "brain tumor in 1992..." then more I couldn't read.  Wow!  Such an inspiration!

I lost sight of her and her running partner for a while,  I ran some, walked a lot, and prayed more!!!!! It was excruciating pain, but now it was not about the pain but about the emotional stuff, my "walk" with God (boy does that have a whole new meaning).  I came around a corner and saw in front of me a long sweeping turn and the a sharp turn leading to a huge ramp, going up onto a bridge or overpass and it was covered in people....runners.  My heart sunk.  At this point I was in such pain it was almost unbearable.  It was starting to drizzle, it had gotten colder and the arthritis in my feet was screaming at me too.  I was in the 10th mile and I was loosing my will.  I started thinking about how I could quit.  Quitting for a bad back seemed like such a wimping thing.  I wished I had blown a knee, I started thinking about faking a blown knee..somehow that seemed more ligit, more impressive than a bad back.  Then I looked behind me and saw about 20-40 people and then the police cars.... the end or last of the runners.  I realized that over 20 thousand people had passed me!!! Wow really.  I was sure this was going to be the end.  I was behind pace. I was almost the last person, I would surly be picked up soon!  I was almost hoping, yet thinking perhaps if I fake an injury I can choose to be picked up and somehow that seems better than being forced to be picked up.

About that time Sarah called on Anna's phone.  I knew that meant both had finished!  I was so proud and so happy, but I was also feeling so low!  Sarah said she would be there waiting for me at the finish line.  She had the attitude in her voice that I was almost done, almost there, no big deal.  I was not feeling so confident, after all with the last of the runners in sight behind me, and the knowledge that all day people had be passing me, also knowing I still had 2+ miles to go, I was certain I would NOT finish.  I cried telling Sarah that I wasn't sure I would make it.  I told her how much pain I was in, how slow I was and how the cars were just behind me.  She just kept sternly (as only Sarah can do) telling me that I was fine and she would be at the finish line waiting for me!!!! 

Then I heard a lady behind me saying,  "They better let us finish! If we have come this far they better let us finish"  She then asked a security guy on a bike, if they were going to let us finish.  He just said they would have to pick us up if we fell too far behind pace because they had to reopen roads.  After he road away the lady behind me said, "we just have to get in the park, we have to get to Epcot and then we will be fine!!!"  I wasn't sure I could even do that but I did want to finish.  I couldn't imagine making it up that ramp ahead, I couldn't imagine the 2+ miles I had left with the pain I was experiencing but some how thinking that perhaps they would let me finish at my pace gave me some hope.  I then started talking pretty strong to myself.  After all I don't want to lie to stop!  I don't want to stop!  I finally convinced myself that the only way I was quitting was if they made me stop!!!! I was going to keep fighting!  I was going  to keep going one step at a time all the while hoping they would take away my choice and put me in a car! :)  (Not really, I did want to finish, I just didn't see how.)  After all at this rate 2 miles would take me almost another 45 min to run.  That just seemed impossible with the pain!

As I rounded the corner and started up the hill, I put my head down and started praying, next thing I know out of seemingly no where comes that scrawny little arm in mine and her kind voice saying, "this is the last one Elizabeth, lean into me I am strong! (really???... this tiny little, brain tumor survivor was telling me to lean into her :) )  By this point, I believed her, I trusted her, I knew she was more than just an annoying person she was an annoying angel!  I leaned in closed my eyes and started thinking about natural child birth and breathing.  I started breathing through the pain, one foot at a time all the while listening to the kind soft voice telling me "we were almost to the top, almost to the flat, leave the stuff behind, He is here with you!"  At the top she ran ahead to join her running partner and I ran down the hill.  I ran for the first time, in a long time with new determination to finish this journey!  As I ran into Epcot I caught up with this woman and her friend.  At that point I realized she was running with a mentally challenged lady.  She introduced us "Christine, this is my friend Elizabeth,"  and Christine said to me, "You are my friend"  (in her mentally challenged voice.)  I couldn't help but smile.  Then  my angel said to Christine, "so what are you leaving behind today"  and with a broken emotional voice Christine said, "today I am leaving behind that I am never good enough for my mother!"

After a few minutes of running together their pace was too fast for me.  They went on ahead and I was alone again.  It is frankly how I like it and I was thankful to have time to think about what I was leaving on that road!  Then I came to mile marker 12.  That was exciting... almost! One more miles still seemed quite far! Then as I rounded one of the last corners I saw this huge teenage gospel choir.  They were singing a rousing gospel number, not noticing the words, I was just moved by the site and sound, then I saw several girls making hearts with their hands, and I noticed the words were something about God having our hearts.... I couldn't help but start crying what a fitting finish to this trip! I cried for joy! Cried because it was another love letter to me from God! Wow how amazing He is!!!!!!

After leaving the choir, up ahead I saw mile marker 13!  I held back my joy knowing there was still .1 to go and at this point everything felt like miles... then I turned the corner and saw the finish line.  I saw that the .1 was not that far.  The .1 was doable.  In fact I decided that I was going to run the .1!  So I took off and ran to the finish line.  They called my name out as I crossed the finish line!  Ahead all I could see was Sarah,  I hugged her and cried, cried from relief, cried from pain, cried because I was so happy to be with her again.  I then saw Anna with ice on her knees and a smile on her face!  What a joy!  What a journey.

What a day!  What a journey!  What an accomplishment!

Today, I left a lot of (C) behind.  I am a finisher...with God's help!  I can push myself physically, I am strong...because he created me that way!  I am His princess!  I have completed a Half Marathon!  I completed it one step at a time.... because of God.

Someone in hearing my story mentioned that I probably would not have finished had it not been for the woman!  I don't agree with that statement.  It was not about that woman, it was about what God was doing for me through her.  It was Him, grabbing my arm, it was Him (through her) reminding me that this was not just about a race, but about leaving stuff behind. God gave me the strength, God is who gets credit!  I finished because, I was willing to listen to Him!  I finished because he created me with the ability to fight through the pain.  I finished and God gets the glory!!!!  I am sure the scrawny, and at times annoying Angel would agree!!!!!

I was also asked if I thought she was an angel,  a heavenly being.  I guess it doesn't matter.  If she was an angel, then I look forward to talking with her in heaven, and if she wasn't an angel then I look forward to talking with her in heaven. :)  She was used by God and whether she was an earthly being or a heavenly being makes no difference.  She was His instrument and that is remarkable!  

I am so happy I did it!  So happy I completed it!  So happy for the journey I had with my maker and the journey we are still having today.  After all, ...he is not letting me get rid of him....he will finish this with me...we are going to do this together....he will encourage me....he will intercede for me with the Father....he will grab my arm... and he will always be right there when things are tough, even when I'm not sure I want it!

The LORD himself goes before you and will be with you; he will never leave you nor forsake you. Do not be afraid; do not be discouraged." Duet. 31:8

I am with you and will watch over you wherever you go, and I will bring you back to this land. I will not leave you until I have done what I have promised you." Genesis 28:15