Yesterday, (Monday) was Chris and my anniversary. This post is late because I spent every possible moment with him! The day was filled by spending time together and with our children. Andrew was working, but the girls wanted to go shopping, so that is what we did. Then the evening was spent having wonderful homemade pizza and then Chris and I just spending time together. It was such a wonderful day.
Chris and I have now been married for 23 three years on the 23rd of July! I can not begin to tell you the blessings that our marriage have brought. From the moment we started dating Chris has been surprising me with his character and the way he has honored me. With all the piles of (C) that have been a part of my life for so long, having someone cherish me, adore me, think I am sexy and beautiful at my worst, and always supportive has at times seemed crazy to me. How can he? Why has he? Without question I have not honored him as I should, by accepting his love and adoration without minimizing it, arguing with him, telling him he is crazy.
I realize I have blogged about this before, but on our anniversary it seemed fitting to once again do my best to try to let go. Today as we were shopping we were constantly looking for things to help out in getting our room organized. It was not going well. We have so little to spend and so much that is needed. We thought we had it figured out and then after coming home and taking lots of measurements it became very discouraging. I was frankly stressing about it. Not exactly they way you hope to spend your anniversary. After dinner Chris tried a couple times to get me distracted and happy again. At first it didn't work. I was not unhappy... I don't think.... I was just trying to find a solution. As I have written before, I am desperate to figure out a way to get our room organized, decorated and clean. It seemed like it was not going to happen.
Finally, in our room, he turned the TV on to a show that is one of these reality shows that has complicated relationships. (I can really enjoy watching the relationship interactions) At one point I realized I was watching it instead of stressing about our organizational solutions. It was the first moment that it dawned on me that his show was not on. I turned to him and asked why he had changed the channel and he said, "Because I was hoping it would make you happy." He then began to talk with me about what was stressing me out. Why I was so consumed with our challenge and the (C) that has contributed to it. Chris doesn't just care about my mood, and what is happening on the surface, he is always wanting to know my heart better! As I laid next to him in bed, and talked, I saw in his eyes love and admiration at a time when I felt unlovable and far from admirable.
That is just a tiny little moment that has happened over and over, and on much larger scale for the last 23 years. He is always doing whatever he can to help, whatever he can to bring joy into my life, and has always wanted to KNOW me! This anniversary I am just very thankful for a man who really loves me! I am hoping soon to also KNOW the me he sees.
I know Christ who also loves me, wants me to understand the value he has given me. Below is a quote I so much appreciate! I hope to glorify His name by living a sparkly life that is free from self deprecation, free from (C). Tonight I am so thankful for a husband who has been such a beautiful earthly example of Christs love for me and I plan to live KNOWING how valued I am because of the price he has paid to save me.
"The Lord is disappointed when His people place a low estimate upon
themselves. He desires His chosen heritage to value themselves according
to the price He has placed upon them. God wanted them, else He would
not have sent His Son on such an expensive errand to redeem them. He has
a use for them, and He is well pleased when they make the very highest
demands upon Him, that they may glorify His name. They may expect large
things if they have faith in His promises". - {DA 668.1}
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