Well I officially completely missed one day of blogging. How ironic that it was on day 40. All I can say about why is I fell asleep around 10pm and woke up at 12:45 thinking I had slept all night, the computer was still on next to me. I decided then I would blog, that is the last thing I remember. So the heart was willing and the body was very very weak. I had just finished a fourteen hour day without a break ending in the realization that 200 of the 900 pictures I had taken were lost. I was discouraged and wiped out. Sleep was obviously needed.
Today has been a great day. You would think that facing the loss of over 200 pictures and the work it would take to recover from would put a damper on the day, however within a ten minute period I had taken all the pictures needed. I was able to get all my work done and home in time for dinner. Chris and I are now sitting in the living room, watching some TV with our lap tops and the best part... a fire in the fireplace. I love a cold house with a fire going. There is just something about fires!
The past couple days I have been making it through with bible promises and students. There is something so incredible about watching students live with graciousness. The pictures I was taking were for Christmas cards sent to all the students families. When the families receive their Christmas card from the principal it will have a picture of their child with friends. That means I have to take pictures of each student with their friends. I tell them that everyone has to have their picture taken with someone. We make it a fun day letting students wear Christmas clothes instead of the normal uniform and we play Christmas music and pass out cupcakes. It is a fun day. As you can imagine this process has the possibility of being an awkward moment for people who don't have a group of friends they are wanting to take pictures with. Each year I have been concerned about those moments, and every year the students make it a non issue. This year there were several moments that stood out.
We have a student at Pisgah that seems to have some type of issue. It is possible that he is slightly autistic. He is extremely socially awkward. At times goes into periods of withdrawing. To much commotion makes him uncomfortable. At first he seemed fine with the idea of having his picture taken with others, but when it came time he froze. He wouldn't talk to me or anyone, he wouldn't even move. There was quite a group of students around. Without me even saying anything a whole group of students got into place pretended they were going to have their picture take together and then two of the girls quietly said, JOE, (not his name) come you can just stand here and you will just be one of the group, no pressure. He walked over still didn't say a word, took his picture with a straight expressive-less face and then walked away and just stood still for sometime. I wanted to cry! These students with such grace and understanding wrapped him up! There was not one bad word, not one giggle or joke, not one unkind look. They were a family in that moment taking care of one of their own. Another moment was when one of the most awkward even unliked student came in and I needed to get his picture, girls that were in the hall, called out his name and said, "...can we have our picture taken with you... come on lets pick out some props and have fun with this." He just beamed. I realize this doesn't happen everyday. I know students hurt each other, can even be mean, but yesterday over and over I saw huge moments where grace, love and acceptance was given to each other.
These were some great moments in these kids lives. moments that have profound impacts on their perceptions of who they are. Pastor Gary said the other week in his sermon how well meaning people say in response to people being wounded by people in the church that they should only look to Christ. Gary pointed out that we don't literally see God and we do see each other... Yesterday over and over I saw grace in action. I am encouraged. I am challenged, to not let my own (C)(insecurities, focus on self, my hurts, my feelings) get in the way of really extending a hand of grace to those around me. If I am honest, when I am frustrated, even angry with people, it is because of my own issues. When I don't extend a hand of grace it is because of my own stuff. The other day I was eating supper at Cracker Barrel by myself, relishing in the rich opportunity to people watch. Sitting next to me was a very interesting older couple. When the waitress approached to ask for their drink order, she gave her name and asked what they would like to drink. The man gave her a huge smile and said, "First, hello my name is Tom, it is nice to meet you!" He then continued on and made their order. In all these years I have never thought to introduce myself to the wait staff. What a beautiful thing to do!
I saw yesterday where (C) could have been laden upon each other and instead they washed some (C) away. I saw grace extended. I saw kindness, and selflessness. When we get consumed with our own hurt it is hard to look outside of yourself to the needs of others. I don't want to be one of those people who just stuff their own (C) and always focus on others, because they can't face their own issues. I want to get rid of the (C) so I can freely show grace. So I can perhaps be a human example of a loving God. I am also going to try to remember to introduce myself to waitstaff, and others I come in contact with. It is so simple, "Hello my name is Beth, nice to meet you."
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