This has been quite a day of ups and downs, literally and figuratively. This morning, I woke with a terrible headache. For some reason, I thought it was Wed. and was enjoying finishing up a writing assignment warm and cozy in bed, when my alarm went off telling me that I was supposed to be in Camden, SC. I jumped up out of bed, cleaned up and was out the door in 15 minutes. Drove like crazy to Camden, had a wonderful time with the students and then headed to Columbia, SC to the CAA. The day was hectic, but such a blessing.
I vividly remembered last year taking the students treats, thinking, "I wish I could figure out a way to take apples, because when I take cupcakes, I am just the fat unhealthy lady who is always pushing sugar." This pile of (C) comes from the feeling and belief that we should never show love with food. Food is and should only be fuel.
Fast forward to this afternoon and with new understanding, new belief, I walked in with the brightest, craziest cup cakes I could find, and relished in watching the joy that spread across the students faces. It was very emotional for me. I love expressing love and appreciation with food, I love expressing love and appreciation with time, I love expressing love with service, and ALL are GOOD!!!! I realize some of you may completely disagree and that is OK. I just know that God created food for pleasure, for fuel, for community and for celebration. The fatted cafe was the star of the celebration when the prodigal son returned home. He cooked breakfast for the disciples. He created some food with almost no nutritional value. Some He made just to add texture, or water, or crunch. He created foods in every color and an endless number of varieties. I KNOW He has expressed his love for us through food. The key, I believe, is that we can't only show our kids or our family or friends love with food but it CAN be ONE way we show love. As I sat and watched the children relish in the cupcakes, I enjoyed it like I never before. I have always used food to show love, but it has always been connected to so much (C). I can't remember anytime where I just relished in the expression of love, without thinking (fat girl, is doing it again...) Today, I was just extending His hand, listening, talking, hugging, and yes I shared sweets. It is amazing how lovely life can be without all the negative bullying I have been inflicting on myself. It is such joy living free of CRAP!.
Then off to dance class. Once again, I was trying to come up with all kinds of reasons not to go, but left so excited and grateful to have gone. This week I literally leaped. Back and forth. Today was the first night where I told myself to just listen to the music, let go and just leap. I did and it was amazing. The applause from the class and teacher was a bit much for me to take, but it felt almost like I was dancing! That is a start. So today, I was down, starting the day late and with a head ache, up, spending time with amazing kids, and then up and down in dance class. I have to say today, I felt lighter, lighter on my feet, lighter in my heart! It is amazing how heaving all that (C) has been!
No comments:
Post a Comment