So I missed my class last week because of needing to take care of Grandmother. Today the thoughts of going to class frankly scared me. The two weeks in between class added to the anxiety, the fact that my back has been so sore and walking was hard today, added to my anxiety.
This is the good news, I went, sore back and all, terrified but I went. Soon after arriving I met a new woman, almost 20 years my senior who was starting class this week. She is from China and can barely speak English. I don't know her story but as I watched her and others in my class I was a bit emotional. We are all human, all imperfect, all stumbling along trying to learn to move with grace. It is frankly a beautiful thing... not the dancing, but the trying! After all we look like we fit better in an easy chair with our feet up and a cup of coffee, but instead, we are in a dance studio, stumbling over ourselves, trying. For me, I am trying to honor God with my being and that is amazing. Tonight I was proud of us :)
I had a wonderful time today getting work done for this weekend (MPA Youth Rally), working more on the University City Youth room, spending time with Amy, having great conversation and then spending time talking with her girls about Pisgah. It was a very productive day.
Most importantly, this morning as I was thinking about what to do for my worship, my personal time with God, I started to face and hear (C). I hate reading, perhaps because I am dyslexic. I don't gain much when reading. I get distracted, have a hard time coming away with a blessing. It is all a struggle to read instead of a communion with God. As I started to pull up the bible on my computer, I was starting to beat myself up, chastise myself for not wanting to read, instead, I stopped, I said to myself I was not going to entertain (C). After all, this time should be about spending time with God, getting to know him better, and if I am spending my time trying to read and not gaining any understanding, how is that accomplishing anything. I do very much enjoy listening to sermons. So instead of beating myself up I found a sermon, by Eddie Hypolite. Thirty minutes later I was filled, blessed, challenged and ready to start my day. Why do we try so hard to put ourselves in a box instead of looking at what we are trying to accomplish and figuring out how with my gifts to best get there. This was one of the best personal morning worships I have ever had. I am so excited! So EXCITED!!!!! How wonderful it is to not put up with the (C) I put on myself, but to take that energy and use it to find a solution for the challenge at hand. I praise God, for creating me unique and for not only understanding me, but celebrating me. Today he had a special blessing picked out for me! How cool is that! Life without the (C) is pretty awesome.
So today, I stopped before being consumed by (C) and used that energy to discover a new way to spend face to face time with my Savior. Praise God from who all blessings flow!!!!!!!
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