It is early Friday morning and I am just trying to go to bed. 12:17 to be exact and I just can't fall asleep. Why you ask. Well I have not blogged since Tuesday morning about the same time, which was for Monday. That puts me three days behind if I don't blog tonight. Let's just say it was not letting me sleep. So I am up to write three blogs, complete them and hopefully fall asleep with the task accomplished.
Monday had been the day of scolding the kids so I decided Tuesday I wanted to spoil them. Good food, entertainment, time at the mall, etc. Anything I could think of that would celebrate! Lucky for me one of my students had just had a birthday so I used her birthday as the excuse. It was just an excuse though. I really believe it is crucial to celebrate whenever possible. I realize many may argue with my method of "parenting" when one day they are bad and the next I reward them by spoiling them. Yet seriously doesn't our heavenly father spoil us everyday. He lavishes love and grace on us when we are completely unlovable. He gives us grace when we don't deserve anything close. After a day of celebrating the students worked extra hard that night at VBS. There was a spark back in them.
Every time I questioned what I was doing, I thought of what my heavenly father has done for me. What I have received that I did not deserve. There is so much! I work the kids hard, and we ask a lot of them. I also needed them to know that I could scold them and still love and lavish them!
I think it is obvious from this post that I am still trying to convince you and myself that it was alright what I did. I know it is different from how I was brought up, and I am obviously having a hard time just believing I did OK. I did find peace in just thinking of my Savior and his amazing love for me. I trust that he will guide me, he can use my efforts and make something beautiful out of them. I also know if my heart is open that he will correct me if need be.
Today I fought with questioning my methods. Today, I let go of the (C) by keeping my focus on my loving Savior and the ways that he has lavished me over the years. How much He loves me inspite of me! How much he desires to celebrate with me....Us!!!! Living MtC was simply looking up!
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