My boy came to see Becca today. I was filling in for several people who were gone today at VBS. I was sitting in the room where I was helping out when I looked up and there was Andrew and Becca. He was tanned, with new facial hair and a huge smile on his face. It was so good to see him! I ran out of the room and hugged him. Wow I miss my kids!!!! I miss them all.
Today as I spent just a couple brief moments with him before getting back to my post, I realized how much I enjoy time with him! How grown up he is becoming. What an wonderful man he has become. It was a wonderful huge blessing today!
Today I spent a couple minutes talking with one of my students about her body image. She doesn't like this and that about herself. I am telling you this girl is stunning! Beautiful hair, adorable smile, healthy fit body, and yet she sees a pile of imperfections. My heart ached for her today. I have not said much yet, I am hoping for a better time, but oh how I desperately wanted to tell her how rediculous she is. How it is crazy that she thinks that way. After all she is about as perfect and you can be. She is smart, kind, and has an infectious giggle. I sadly recognized her pain.
I remember my senior class trip. I was about a size 10. I was fit, but jut a stick. I had perfect 80's hair, (this was in the 80's so that is a good thing), and yet on my senior class trip I was ashamed to be in my bathing suite. I didn't want to swim etc. Finally a friend convinced me to take a picture. All the girls were doing these fun crazy poses so I felt like I had to join in. I hoped with every fiber of my being that I would see the pictures and think, wow I'm so much hotter than I thought. I'm not fat at all... etc.
A few weeks later the pictures were developed and I came to the bathing suit picture. All I could see was the huge stomach I had.... (it was nothing more than a curve created from the angle of the shot, it was not a stomach). It was all I could see. I hated to look at it, cringed just thinking of it, yet for some reason I didn't get rid of it! For some reason I kept the picture and still have it today.
Today when I see that picture my heart aches for that girl just as I ached for my student. Why oh why did I hate myself so much when I had nothing to hate. Today I know I must not hate myself anymore today. I may not be that size 10, but hating myself is just as sad today as it was back then. Looking at my body and loathing it is not acceptable ever!!!!
Living MtC means I have to let go of the hurtful habits I have hung on too for way too long. How can I share with my student of her beauty if I am still loathing myself today? I can't so I must stop! I can hear my husband saying.... "Put the (C) down.... just step away!!
No comments:
Post a Comment