110- Question

So tonight finds me with a question.  The question is about my dance class.  I love it!  I know I need it!  I just have a very hard time making it!  I have been working on my schedule from now until summer and it will be very difficult to make dance class!  This week I have been questioning whether or not I should continue.  I am trying to not let (C) creep into this decision making question.  How can the thing I knew was so important for me to do, be so impossible to do?  Is it lack of commitment?  Is it being sensible and deciding I can't do it all?  Is it that I am not comfortable enough that I am finding any excuse to not go?  Is it that I need to breath and taking one thing off my plate would help? 

So many questions so little time!  It is at times like this that I know how much easier it would be to make decisions if I didn't have to identify and wade through crap! Just one more reason to let it go.

Tonight I have to say I am left with nothing.  I know the dance class, though hard to go to, is good for me in many ways.  When I go I feel good about doing something that is physical, good for me and good for this process of emotional healing and growth.  On the other hand just getting myself there is creating anxiety. The anxiety comes from just feeling like it is one more thing I have to do, it is one more appointment, that it is taking time from my husband and my work, it is taking time from my friends and my church.  Yet if I don't go, I feel bad about paying for and being part of a class and yet not attending.  I have lots of anxiety if I am unable to make it.  I hate calling to tell them and if I don't I feel like I should have!

So tonight, I don't know what I am supposed to do except pray and hope for clarity.  I am supposed to go tomorrow night, I am supposed to practice at church, I am behind in work, and I left my ballet slippers at home.  I have no idea how to get it all done and be there.  So once again I struggle!

I will pray! Pray about when is too many good things just to many!  When do I say no so that I can say yes? Tonight I need to pray for the ability to identify any (C), the ability to set it down, and then the willingness to make the decision He wants me to make!