All this pain. I wonder if I’ll ever find my way. I wonder if my life could really change at all. All this earth. Could all that is lost ever be found. Could a garden come up from this ground at all.
You make beautiful things
You make beautiful things out of the dust
You make beautiful things
You make beautiful things out of us
All around. Hope is springing up from this old ground. Out of chaos life is being found in You.
You make beautiful things
You make beautiful things out of the dust
You make beautiful things
You make beautiful things out of us
You make beautiful things
You make beautiful things out of the dust
You make beautiful things
You make beautiful things out of us
You make me new, You are making me new
You make me new, You are making me new
You are making me new
You make beautiful things
You make beautiful things out of the dust
You make beautiful things
You make beautiful things out of us
You make beautiful things
You make beautiful things out of the dust
You make beautiful things
You make beautiful things out of us
You make me new, You are making me new
You make me new, You are making me new
My brother and his family band played this song for my niece's baptism. It was a beautiful thing .... :) Today I had a beautiful thing happen. An unexpected, beautiful thing. Today as I was leaving church, a beautiful woman, a beautiful friend stopped me. Just last week, she had asked to be included in the blog. She proceeded to tell me that she has not been able to stop reading and how it has been a blessing etc. We had a very special moment. She was crying. I was crying. May not sound beautiful, but it was! She affirmed me. She ministered to me! We connected. Mind you, she has always been someone I admire and has inspired me to walk proud. She is a woman with a beautiful glow about her.
So after leaving church, Chris and I were having a conversation and I realized that I was really struggling. Struggling with what to do with her affirmation. It makes me uncomfortable. Part of me wants to shut her down. Tell her she is crazy. To not accept it I also want to be able to just accept it and to tell her thank you. My struggle is simply this, where is the line between "Whatever your hand finds to do, do it with all your might..." versus, "Before his downfall a man's heart is proud, but humility comes before honor" Prov. 18:12 .. For some reason, the knowledge that we must be humble keeps me from trying to excel. Wanting to be humble keeps me from accepting affirmation. Yet I know, we are to affirm each other. Since we are to affirm each other, there must be a way to accept it without being prideful!
I heard Barry Black talking about hearing a gifted speaker and then asking God to help Him become excellent. He was determined to not be just OK but to be excellent. The greatness he saw in the other speakers was their ability to deliver a powerful message without being tied to notes. He wanted to be able to have eye contact and still deliver a powerful message. Here is the dumb founding part for me. After relaying this experience, he told this beautiful story of how God helped him to become excellent! It was uplifting and the focus was on God, yet...yet he was acknowledging that he had excelled. I don't know how to do that. I was impressed with His determination to excellent. I was impressed that he could acknowledge his gift, natural or learned, all while glorifying God. If he had not been willing to share the story, to tell about his achievement, then he would not have adequately glorified God. Yet, every time I even think about trying to excel - to really succeed, I coward. I retreat. I don't exactly know why. I know it has something to do with feeling that if I am going to succeed it needs to be a God thing but that tends to translate, do nothing. Which is stupid. If I am working - if I am practicing - if I am searching for a way to succeed, it does not mean I am trying to be prideful! Humility is the simple understanding that all is from HIM!
I write this and yet even as I do, I question it all. I have struggled with this post. I feel the need for it to be a theologically sound, scripture laden study. The reason is because even as I write what I believe, I hear things like, "You prideful b****," and a pile of other (C). I think of the times my mother pushed off compliments people were making of me when I was young. I think of the piles of (C) including insecurities, a fear of failure and general feelings of inadequacies that contribute to my inability to pursue excellence. I want to pursue excellence while making sure it all is done to glorify God. I don't know how to do that.
I believe:
God wants us to do great things for Him!
God will be glorified if my heart is connected to His!
There is a lot of (C) that has held me back!
He wants me to put it down and experience the possibilities!
Humility is acknowledging the source of all that is good!
Humility is not debilitating!
Humility is not beating up self, but selfless!
Today I believe it, now I just need to live it!
Today I want to believe what the words of this song say, He will make beautiful things.... HE will make beautiful things out of me!!!!! HE! HE! will make beautiful things out of me!"
But whatever I am now, it is all because God poured out his special favor on me--and not without results. For I have worked harder than any of the other apostles; yet it was not I but God who was working through me by his grace. 1 Cor. 15:10
Enjoy my brothers families version of the song.
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