Earlier today I went for a run. I am falling desperately behind in training for the half marathon which is coming up very soon. So today was incredibly important. I have been the most concerned about the time issue. For this race you have to maintain a 16min. mile average, or they will pick you up and carry you to the finish line in a truck! I have been very concerned because I am very very slow. So today I down loaded a new app for my phone that tracks distance and will give you your average pace every minute. I was terrified. I start the warm up by walking two minutes. Those two minutes, my average pace was around 19 min. miles. I was so discouraged, in just two minutes. I just kept telling myself, don't get discouraged this is just your warm up and I knew it would be bad. Then I ran for a minute, walked for two, ran for one. At the end of the second run my average time was an 11min. mile. I was convinced that it was a mistake. Then after walking up a very long hill that took several minutes, my time was 12 min. Still very good. Instead of being happy, instead of feeling great, I spent most of my five mile run sure that the app must be wrong. I was dreading the end of the run, because I was sure the time was going to be drastically different. I was sure it was not possible that I had done that well! Convinced! So I get home, do the calculations (because I don't trust the app) and it was dead on! I ran 5.1 miles, averaging 13.13 minute miles. Then I was angry. Angry that I used so much energy being completely convinced that I was so much worse than I was. I am not doing that any more. That is some (C) that I am going to wash off once and for all. I have never run a half marathon and I have no idea how it will be but I will just move forward and do my best. End of story! No (C) allowed on my runs!!!!!!
Tonight Chris is staying at the church to help out with Room at the Inn, a program where homeless men come and stay at our church. It is a way to help get homeless men out of the cold. At one point this afternoon when Chris was packing up and headed out the door I was sad. We are together so little that I was wishing he wouldn't go. Then tonight as I sat by my fire, in my comfy chair, eating delicious food, I thought how incredibly selfish that I even for a second didn't want to give up my husband to help out with getting men out of the cold and off the street. Seriously, how selfish and self centric!
So tonight I am reminded of the most important part of this process. Turning my focus to all things true and good! After all to live without the (C) there has to be something in its place. So tonight I am going to count my blessings.
I am thankful for my husband, who loves me and knows me!
I am thankful for my children.
I am thankful for a warm home.
I am thankful for a fireplace.
I am thankful for health.
I am thankful for food.
I am thankful for the ability to run!
And most importantly...I am thankful to have a relationship with Jesus Christ!
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