Day 10

Today I had the privilege of caring for my grandmother.  She came down sick last night and spent some time in the hospital but was home when I arrived back from work.  She has been throwing up and having terrible stomach pains.  The hospital sent her home with a prescription for nausea that she takes in pill form. She has had a hard time keeping it down.  My uncle is supposed to be caring for my grandparents but today he was suffering from a terrible tooth problem that was causing great pain so he went home leaving me to the care of my grandparents.  I decided that I would set aside the (C) of hurt and all the (C) they have given me over the years and focus on honoring them.  I went to Earth Fare bought good ingredients and made a healthy kale and white bean soup.  I made a double batch so that it can be put in the freezer.
I discovered today that when I try to shut off the (C), I actually love cooking healthy food.  I loved knowing that what I was going to make was nutritious and would aid in keeping me healthy and helping to make her healthy. I am so baffled by why I have spent so many years filling myself with terrible food and bad choices when I actually love the process of choosing good.  It was a joy to shop for fresh and colorful food and then to cook and enjoy the nutrition. It probably has a lot to do with feeding the hurt instead of allowing myself to feel it and then let it go.  Set the (C) down and move on with living.  Really tonight was about living! Living! Using food to sustain instead of using food to deaden the hurt. Using the illustration of me holding a huge pile of crap, my normal way of dealing with food has been to pile doughnuts and french fries on top of the pile of (C) instead of using nutritious food to wash away the (C).

It was a good day! Long, I'm exhausted, but thrilled that I can profess that I do enjoy the process of gathering and preparing nutritious food.  Oh yea, just a little bonus.  Going into Earth Fare a woman was singing and playing her guitar for money.  She sounded amazing.  It certainly helped to encourage me to pick up my step, and truly enjoy the process. As I checked out I got extra cash to share with her. Decided it was cheep therapy.  What a little added gift for my day!

So today finds me...
(-) the (C) of hurt and shame
(+) the joy of healthy cooking and eating!