Day 12

This morning I am posting instead of waiting till this evening.  This is why.  Tonight I head home and Chris and I are planning a special date night.  We plan to spend the entire evening focused on just each other so I will have no time for posting. I am guarding our time.  So this morning I had a bit of a struggle not listening to the (C) in my head at breakfast.  I'm here at my grandparents and my parents are here now.  My parents are on and off again followers of Dr. Fuhrman way of eating. Yesterday when I offered my mom, organic 100% whole wheat bread with some kale vegan soup she declined the bread stating that she is trying to only have a grain a day. Now I am not talking bad about my mother.  This is something she believes in and she is doing her best to stick to it. She feels better etc.  But this morning I realized that when I wanted a piece of 100% organic whole wheat bread with peanut butter on it that I was replaying what she had said and was a bit insecure (maybe not the right term) but uneasy about getting out the bread toasting it when they were the ones who had set the table and food out and had not included the bread.  The table had fruit and oatmeal.  I did get out the bread and toasted it and then put some peanut butter on it but it was a struggle.  This is not my parents fault.  It is ridiculous!  It is all my problem.  I was simply wanting to please them.  I want them to look at what I am eating and like it.  How stupid.  It is the same reason I eat chocolate, or ice cream. To please others.  Today I almost couldn't eat the healthy toast because I was wanting to please my parents... I am 43 years old.  How ridiculous is that.  I did completely finish my toast, oatmeal with applesauce and bananas on it and a small glass of OJ.  I feel good and healthy.  Grateful for a good breakfast. Ready to start my day and a new resolve to complete this project.  To learn to eat healthy food for me not eat to please others.