Once again it is technically day 10 since it is 12:51 a.m. as I start writing this. It has been such a full and blessed sabbath. Chris came in for the weekend and what a blessing to wake up with him this morning, as he whispered to me that the long drive was worth it just to wake up with me!!!! Not a bad way to start the day. Then off to sabbath school where the drama team amazed me, and on to church where the music moved me! Sad news was made easier as I watched the entire school come together around the flags to pray for their classmates and former teacher. A delicious lunch, a quiet afternoon and then a wonderful senior dedication service! Tricia M. was the speaker. Her message was not only a blessing rich with terrific reminders of the importance of spending time with God but was so beautifully delivered and eloquently written that I enjoyed it on every level! What a highlight! Then off to work to get ready for tomorrow. (MPA rep day) At one point I needed to run up to the ball field and ask someone a question and that turned into more than an hour of delightful conversations with many friends.
One conversation is what I will write about tonight. The question was asked of me, "So are you a perfectionist?" My first reaction was of course not. All you have to do is look at my house. But the question has stuck with me. I have been pondering it. You see, I would say not, because when I think of perfectionists I think of people who get perfect report cards, have immaculate homes, who dress to the nine, who do their best to never make mistakes, who drive themselves crazy with the need for all that is around them to be perfect. That is NOT me. Are perfectionists, people who must have it all perfect so they are constantly working to have it that way, or is it possible that perfectionists, are also people who need to be perfect and have it all right but can't achieve it so they beat themselves up over their life full of short comings. I guess I always saw perfectionists as people who would keep cleaning the window until all the streaks were gone, but maybe perfectionists can also be the people who are depressed that their windows are streaked, but do nothing. Perhaps the latter is a doubly dysfunctional person... who knows just a thought. I do know this I have always said that I may not have a clean house but it drives me crazy. I don't enjoy the mess. I am sure if you are a traditional perfectionist you are probably reading this and thinking, "she is no perfectionist." I may not be but I will say this today I sat in church and found all the things that I had done wrong with the bulletin and then proceeded to feel so badly about it, to the point that I had to stop and pray so that I could focus on the minister. To all the perfectionists I apologize, but I think I might be one of you! Honestly no one has ever asked me that before. Anyone that knows me really well would never think to ask, because I don't fit the mold.
Tonight for the friend who asked the question, I thank you. You have given me much food for thought.
1 comment:
Interesting what we take from each other standing around a smoky fire pit in the freezing cold.
I recently bought a card that was so appropriate for those of us who are self-critical:
finish each day and be done with it. you have done what you could. some blunders and absurdities have crept in; forget them as soon as you can. tomorrow is a new day. you shall begin it serenely and with too high a spirit to be encumbered with your old nonsense.
--emerson
Thanks again, for your generous words regarding my talk. Much appreciated.
--tricia
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