You know how smells can take you back to your childhood or a moment or a feeling? You know how hearing a song or seeing a place you haven't been in a while takes you back? Tonight, Chris and I went to a JJ Heller concert at Southern. Being in this part of the country always takes us back, back to the time where we fell in love. With that, I discovered tonight, comes some (C). This weekend is also Southerns Alumni weekend. That means it is possible, or likely that we will run into old classmates and friends. This is a wonderful bonus, but as I was getting dressed for the concert, and doing my hair it was far from a bonus! I kept thinking about all of my husbands old friends, and what they would think of his choice in me. O.K. what I was really thinking was "I hope I don't embarrass him". Chris dated a lot! He dated major beauties. Coming back to this place that holds so many wonderful memories also brought up a lot of insecurities. Now 42 with lots of gray, will I be the one they talk about when they go back to their rooms?
Here is the good news... I realized two things tonight.
First: How much easier it will be to not go to that place, thinking about what they are thinking and saying if I am NOT TALKING ABOUT OTHERS! After all. The reason it is so easy to hear them talking about how I have let myself go is because I have said the same thing too many times about others! Ouch!
Second: When the thoughts come, when I am fighting with the (C) it does work to stop, tell myself NO, and then replace it with Truth!
Tonight the truth was, He chose me! Better yet he still chooses me, loves me, adores me! He likes my gray! We are more in love today then when it all began! Tonight the truth was, I needed to ask for forgiveness, for all the times I have spoken unkindly of others. Tonight instead of spending the ride in the car on the way to the concert thinking about all the (C) I was reflecting on the joy that started in this place and the JOY that is still in this relationship.
The concert was then such an amazing experience! JJ Heller has a voice that is so clear. Forget the saying "clear as a bell" it should be, "as clear as JJ Heller's voice". The clarity and purity of her voice reflected the clarity that I was able to listen, having let go of the (C). All of life is muddled when my mind is filled with (C). How nice to listen to the clean crisp voice and the powerful message in her music with a heart and mind that was clear too! What a blessing it was! It was so good to be there with my girls and my boys, and of course my man!
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