Day 14

Last night when writing my post the internet quit working, I had written so much and was afraid of loosing it and I got distracted.  Reading yesterdays post today I realized there was so much I wanted to say, maybe should say.

I really believe that the importance of me being able to walk past a mirror and like what I see is critically important. I believe all of us should. It is not about vanity or self glorification, but honoring the creator, realizing the beauty that the world doesn't see.  It is about honoring what my husband sees.  I want him to have a lover who has confidence in the gift she is giving him. After all confidence is sexy. 

I know beauty is as much a result of mental health, graciousness, confidence, joy, admiration of others, as the physical package,; however insecurities have a tendency to cover up or dull all the above.
Having said all of this I must say that for the majority of my life I have intentionally down played the physical part of my being. The insecurities and (C) that plays out in my head has made me feel that putting time into my look, or physical health is "fake" because that is not the real me. That is (C).   I have spent little or no time on exercise, healthful cooking, make up, hair, clothes, caring for clothes.  None of that has been valued. It should not control or be the focus of my life but it should be part of my life. I should value the vessel God has given me and present it in a the best way.  This process of getting rid of, setting down, minus the CRAP, is a start.
So today I am going to minus the (C) that I am not worth the time or energy to take care of my appearance. Minus the (C) that I am ugly, unsexy, undesirable.

Today I am worth the time!!!!!
Today I am beautiful, even sexy and desirable, just as I am!!!!
Today I am and always will be a creation of the artist of all artists, my heavenly father.
Today because of the Gift God and Chris have given me I am going to set down the (C) and embrace my inner diva! (Watch out babe :))
I realize this will not be an instantaneous change, it will take time.  After all I have be come very comfortable in the (C).  I am in the habit of thinking (C)! But today I am reminding myself that in an effort to honor my Creator and Chris I will intentionally live today without the (C)!