So after the wonderful invitation yesterday, I decided to take a huge step and go way outside my comfort zone and ask several individuals to send me a quote that I can use in a brochure for promotional purposes. I hated asking. It took courage. I battled through loads of (C), but managed to get the requests off last night and was getting responses this morning as I awoke. It left me this morning exhausted before my day even started. However I was thrilled that I had made one more step toward getting it done. There was a sense of relief. Then early afternoon I got a phone call and everything changed.
I need to give some back ground first. Days before I started this journey, as I was spending some time with God, and thinking about taking this journey, I felt very convicted that one of the areas that I needed to address in my life was dance. I have never danced. If the big pile of (C) in my life has done anything it has certainly buried my desire and ability to dance.
Years ago I went to a dance recital after being invited by Karalee Rosburg. It was a moving experience. Watching people of all ages, shapes and sizes dancing for the purpose of praising God was incredibly moving. I sat in the dark church and wept. It was the most moving thing I had ever seen. I was shocked by my reaction. I realized that day my heart and soul needs to dance, but I can't!
After much prayer and years of contemplation about a month ago I wrote an email to the King Davids Conservatory and told my story. I expressed my need to start the process of learning to move this body.
So back to this afternoon. As I'm driving the call comes in. It is Barb and the dance studio wanting to talk. Just telling her what I was wanting and I was over come with emotion. For some reason it affects me to the core. Telling Chris about it this evening and I was in tears again. This is huge! I mean huge! So hard. Anyway back to the phone call. With her kindness and understanding I finally agreed to come to a group class for beginner adults. It is a ballet class. Can you believe it, me taking a ballet class. It blows my mind. Terrifies me. Excites me. At first when she said ballet I wanted to scream no. I have never had an interest and just as quickly I realize that the femininity that ballet represents I have always wanted to be. The grace. The beauty. I have never accepted as being a part of who I am; however I have always wanted it to be.
So this Thursday night I will be going into a room, in something tight enough that the instructor "can see my form", with other people, other adults and try to start the process of learning to dance and accepting that I am a woman, beautiful, graceful, wanting to praise God with my entire being.
How is that for double WOW!
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