It started this morning with a still small voice. There is something about that time when I am just waking up, just starting to gain consciousness, that I seem to be more aware of the Holy Spirit. Maybe it is because at that time, my voice, my thoughts are not awake yet, not awake enough to get in the way. In that moment this morning, the events of the previous evening and the remedy, were made very clear.
Last night MPA praise team was coming to Charlotte in preparation to lead worship at our church for both services. They were supposed to meet the AV guy at the church to practice at 6pm. To make a very long story short, when they thought they were minutes away, they were in SC and hours away. They had gone the wrong direction. When they finally arrived in Charlotte, about 8 hours after leaving Asheville (a two hour drive) they decided to stay at a friends house instead of driving another hour to the Kendalls who had prepared their home for 5 kids. I was so upset. I knew the AV guy had wasted several hours of his Friday night waiting for them. The Kendalls had cleaned, made up extra beds, purchased extra food, and then no one showed, leaving their three children very disappointed. We were all talking about them being inconsiderate etc. We were all thinking this was such a terrible thing.
So this morning as I awoke, the still small voice made it clear that this was not about the kids being so bad but the devil trying to keep them from being the blessing that He had prepared them to be. I know the devil does all he can to disrupt us from praising God. I then spent sometime in prayer and asked if there was anything we could do. It seemed very clear, we could also invite the Kendalls to come over for lunch. It would be a nice way to say thank you for all they had done, plus give the kids an opportunity to be with the students. I hesitated knowing that I was doubling the number of people I had planned food for, but felt very confident God would provide and multiply.
I felt profoundly sad that last night we had not stopped and prayed for the team instead of getting irritated! Why is it we are so quick to get irritated with each other instead of praying for each other. We had lots of justification for being irritated, or did we. How different would our hearts have been, are attitudes toward them, how different if we had just stopped and prayed. Stopped and lifted them up to our Lord.
I went to church excited to receive a blessing, and I did! Their music moved me and in such a poignant way emphasized Christs love for me. Their music was a perfect compliment to the pastors sermon. It was such a wonderful Sabbath.
The lunch and afternoon was also such a blessing. Several of us came home after first service and everyone pitched in to get food ready and even some dishes washed. It was amazing how much was accomplished to prepare for the MPA kids. We even had time for a game of flag football with the Kendall kids and the Grissom Kids. It was a very special moment.
Several times during the day I fought with (C). I was inviting people home that had never been to my home, and the table had not even been cleared off from supper last night. Mark asked to help Chris bring in drinks from the garage. The garage is one of those spaces I like keeping closed, hidden, even from me! I cringed. However, Becca, Carolyn, and Chris all at times knew what I was struggling with and gave me words of encouragement. Becca at one point said quietly to me, "just put it down". She was right, and I did. So much of this process is just stopping, just letting it happen, or being willing to be real and authentic! I can pretend my house is cleaner than it is by not letting Mark into my garage, but that is not being authentic, or real! Guess what, even after seeing the garage, Mark didn't take his family and run away. Addies mom didn't leave when I welcomed her to my far from clean home, infact she seemed to be encouraged by it stating that her husband wanted her inviting people home, but she had not been willing because their home was not perfect. She said before leaving she is going to try to step out and start having people over.
Most importantly today I became acutely aware of that time early in the morning when I'm not in the way and it reminded me of making sure I take time to be silent and let the Holy Spirit talk to me. Listening, really listening to his word, and the Holy Spirit! I don't want the only time he can seem to get through to me to be when I am only half conscious. I want it to be as easy for him to speak to me when I have 20 people in my home or while I'm driving.
It also emphasized perhaps the importance of starting my day with Him. This morning after a few minutes with Him, what the emphasis of my day needed to be was clear! I have always preferred spending time with God at night. I won't stop my evening worship, but ad even if it is just a short moment in conversation with Him in the early morning. Tomorrow morning before leaving my bed, I want to take sometime to just listen.
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