Day 21

"For in him we live and move and have our being." Acts 17:28  Barb my ballet instructor shared this scripture with me tonight.  How beautiful it is.  In him we live and move and have our being.  Tonight was a struggle. I had the runs for hours before.  Had practice at the church, which I was so grateful for, (the praise music, and singing helped to calm the nerves and prepare my mind!), and then drove like crazy to get to dance class.  Upon arriving, Barb saw me and said, "you are Beth!"  I nodded and she came running over to me, hugged me and said she was so grateful I was there.  She is a tiny maybe 5 foot lady who radiates joy! She right off the bat recited Acts 17:28 ‘For in him we live and move and have our being', and kept expressing her pleasure that I had made it.  Then we went into class.  There were several missing so we consisted of 2 teenage girls, and 2 middle aged over weight women, (myself one of the two.) We started with stretching, or bar work, which took up almost half of the hour.  Then we did some steps, jumps etc.  I was amazed how much I was sweating and how tired I was getting and we seemingly were doing very little.  A great work out.

So the experience overall was terrific.  I realized several things tonight.  First, watching myself in the mirrors and thinking about the scripture, in Him we live and move and have our being, I realized that moving, dancing is an important part of living in him, but so is nutrition, etc.  I know that is a duh statement, but I couldn't help but look at this body in all those mirrors "dancing" and think, "I have not be living in Him" , "I have been hiding behind;  food, clothes, TV, inactivity, and busyness."  I have not been living in Him. 

Second, I had a real hard time with my dyslexia or whatever it is that makes it impossible for me to keep tract of things like left foot in front right foot lead... and many other instructions.  That part was hard for me but, I will get it. It will just take time.

Third, as I watched myself in the mirror,  I saw the beginnings of grace, elegance, good posture. All things I have never associated with me.  It felt odd or strange yet at the same time finally right. It is about time I work on learning to really be a lady with this body.  This is a whole new idea for me.  I am creative, funny, smart, even somewhat driven, with big ideas,  good at many things but NOT a Lady.  Not girlie. Tonight seeing my toes pointed my hands relaxed, my arms arched, moving slow yet graceful was wonderful. I am looking forward to praising God by being more of the Lady he created me to be.

Forth, tonight I did something that terrified me, and I did it.  I made it through and not only did I not die but I enjoyed it.  Perhaps I enjoyed the fact that I did it more than the process itself, but I did it!

Fifth, tonight I was more convicted than ever that we were created to dance for the Lord, to move for him. I have no desire to dance in a bar, or dance in a club, but dance before the Lord we should! Tonight the praise music, was not just back ground music.  It was not just a beat!  It was so much more.  This was not just dancing ballet to Christian music. It was praising God!  At one point at the end of the class, she had us close our eyes and just move our arms to the music, with the focus on the words and praising God.  I did at first, but then I became increasingly uncomfortable and stopped.  I am going to look at the fact that I was able to do it for a few moments or so before insecurities paralyzed me. It is a start.

Tonight I am thrilled that I made it through.  I am excited to have started this new journey.  I will tell you this, I sweat like crazy, yet was never winded, a crazy combination. I'm sure I will be quite sore tomorrow, it is amazing how it stretches everything, including my back.

I thank you for your prayers, they were felt and appreciated so much.